My Father

A Story by Lydia J

A depressing actuality of my life.

And again. My father has successfully managed to offend and anger me more than any other animate or inanimate object to ever exist has. It has gotten to the point where all he has to do in order to aggravate the very depths of my souls is to exist. Simply be alive. While a minuet fragment of me still deeply cares and loves my father, the prominent majority utterly despises every molecule of his existence. For my dearest mother's sake, I spend horrendous after horrendous day smiling and attempting to not shriek in absolute desperation for my sanity to return. I simply cannot conceptualize how a human being can simply be such a disgusting pig. I fear that some of my sheer hatred for him has been incited by incidents I allegedly have forgiven him for. But I still have yet to discover a way to do so. There have been instances where he has let his family starve while he had sufficient food to eat and then complained about the embarrassment of having to ask friends for food. By the way, none of which was shared with his starving family. Now if we had caused the situation at hand, I may have been able to completely and totally forgiven him. Eventually. Sadly for him, he caused all of it. My father went to the extent of creating his own religion in order to further promote his life style of negligence. Not only is he content with letting his family die due to lack of having any humanity, he also is abhorrently disgusting. Brushing his teeth, cleaning anything ever, having table manners, and possessing manners in general are all things he fails to do. Since we're listing things, he is irrational, a compulsive liar, apathetic, cantankerous, intolerant, cynical, shiftless, irresponsible, and belligerent. But he remains my father. So I continue to give away my summers to hard labor to bring in the funds he refuses to. I continue to clean up his messes and smile when he screams at me for petty mistakes. I continue to accept that college is no longer an option due to his incessant addiction to buying things my earning pay for. I continue to forgive and love him despite his cruelty. And I continue to lock myself in my room and sob when I remember that I have yet another day to face.