burden

my heart stares at memories

ones that my brain has on a repeating reel

13 years ago i told you i would be okay

i gave you permission to leave this realm

and probably for the first time in my 57 years

you listened to my words

taking them to heart

today i emptied out the carton

filled with your expectations

(the ones that have weighed me down for years)

only to figure out

your expectations shaped my life

in a good way

though they linger in the corners

of my heart and soul

i see them as a comfort now

not as a burden at all

I miss you mommy!  Tot Ziens!

 

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Lydi**these words of yours are conveyed beautifully. Time can place a different perspective on people and situations. It can be difficult to deal with the expectations of others, particularly when we are young.

I see them as a comfort now
not as a burden

I do believe our parents want the best for us. You’ve emptied the carton and see that what your mommy wanted for you has influenced your life in a positive way.

So hard to lose a mother. Still early days for me.

Your poetry is always a treat to read. Hope all is good in your world.

Chris

[Lydia Shutter]

Hi Chris! Indeed, time changes attitudes. There's no doubt my parents wanted what they thought was best for me. At times it was too heavy for me to carry since I was an only child. Now I see things in a different light. Thanks so much for your review, Chris. All is well here. Hope that is the case for you as well. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Took years for acceptance...parents' expectations can be so overwhelming, but we have to be who we are.
And their push helps our momentum towards our goals.
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

How true. Thank you, Jacob. Lydi**

[Arundass TP]

An interesting poem on expectations. Good work 👍

[Lydia Shutter]

Thank you, Arundass.

[AYVID N]

Dear Lydi,
Our bonds with our mothers are eternal. In any realm, they stay close to us and live in our hearts. This is a very touching poem and reading it, I realize how deeply I care for my own mum. You are a wonderful poet. Thank you.

[Lydia Shutter]

Sweet Divya. Thank you so very much. If you are fortunate enough to still have your mom in your life, tell her how much you love her. Lydi**

[AYVID N]

She is, indeed, such a blessing and I’ll surely tell her so. Thank you for this poem. It was a joy to read. 💐

[emmajoygreen]

Start to finish, Lydi.. what well laid, beautiful and sincere words, They brought memories to my eyes. There is something about a mother - or 'little mum' as we called ours.

Those expectations perhaps hinted upon rather than ordered how you became the woman you are.. truly incredible.

[Lydia Shutter]

Well, Emma, your "little mum" did a great job too. Thank you so much for the review. Lydi**

[emmajoygreen]

She was just over five foot tall, had seven children and still managed to cope with life. She tried to teach me the same but - am still learning how, Lydi! (Some would say I have a long way to go but I'm the before of before and after!

[Lydia Shutter]

Pat yourself on the back, Emma. You are doing just fine!

[emmajoygreen]

You are such a great friend, love to share with you - what- or whichever the emotion! x

[Einstein Noodle]

heart wrenching, Lydi! memories, expectations .. our Ma and Da s do shape us no matter how we grow to reject that shaping, the maybe there was something there after all and finally to the closing .. full of gratitude, love and understanding. i think it is a very blessed thing to miss our parents .. they did their best and we benefited ... too many who never had such a growing.... straight forward, emotive piece for me .. the frenzy i see in the art ...the eye fierce and unwavering in the face of turmoil ... love it!
E.

[Lydia Shutter]

Indeed, our parents did great jobs and we were the ones who benefitted. It is a blessing to have sweet memories as I do. Glad you liked the write and the artwork I chose. Thank you, E. Lydi***

[Arundass TP]

A good poem on expectations. Good work 👍

[Lydia Shutter]

Thank you, Arundass. Lydi*

[Tom]

Those expectations very much the wishes and wants of a loving mother for her always cherished daughter, and so it came to pass her feelings duly earnest and most sincere, Mama was and still is an inspiration!!

Heartfelt in feeling and emotion dear Lydia, yes indeed ' Tot Ziens ' til we meet again

[Lydia Shutter]

Tom, thank you so much for this lovely review....and for knowing what "Tot Ziens" means. Lydi***

[Ken Simm.]

Such a tribute to someone I don't know but obviously meant a lot to you Lydi. Filled with such light and memory. Filled with such lines that will comfort both the writer and the reader.

[Lydia Shutter]

Did you read the entire poem? It was written about my mother....of course you did not know her. Thanks for the visit anyway. Lydi*

[Ken Simm.]

It mentioned you mother right at the end which I must have missed.Sorry. Otherwise it could have been about anyone close.

[John the Baptist]

Which of us doesn't have issues with our mothers' expectations? I was 40 years old and my mother saw fit to tell me to remove my hat indoors (It was a public place.) . Still, I like the way the speaker has come to terms with those expectations years later, understanding that Mom really only meant the best. We could have worse problems in this life.
PS: Is Tot Ziens Yiddish?

[Lydia Shutter]

Tot Ziens means "Till we meet again" in Dutch. I learned to speak Dutch before English since my entire family is from Amsterdam. I am 1st generation American. Thanks for the review, John. Be well. Lydi**