flawed

thoughts during a rainstorm

artwork by mandy tsung

the wind whistles

then whips the palm fronds 

with an almost evil intensity

neon lightning rips through the sky

i search for answers

but every discovery turns into a disruption

miscalculations

disarticulations

raindrops rumba on the roof

water whispers to the windows

a palm frond takes flight

then

an epiphany

the epitome of the absurd

yes that's it

the answer to everything

my life is grammatically flawed!

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow..."raindrops rumba on the roof"
what a line...
analogy of life to grammar...so cool.
first line i read as "wind whistles"
unless that was intended because of the last line.
but still....i am also searching for answers...and not finding many at all...
great poem, Lydi.
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Aha, that is a typo and I will fix it right now. That's what I get for not checking my work! Thanks for the review and for finding that, Jacob. Lydi**

[Kelly Scheppers]

We must be on the same wave length, once again. I'm working on a poem right now about storms...how cool is that? I love your rumba on the roof! Who else could put such a spin on mother nature and turn it into a self discovery?

[Lydia Shutter]

We've always been in sync, Kelly! Glad you liked this one. Thanks for the review! Lydi***

[NotUsinganymore]

Very nice poem. I think all of us are flawed in some way or the other. Whether it's through the choices you make or the environment you're born in.

[Lydia Shutter]

How true. Thank you, JungLee. Lydi**

[Fay Slimm]

Love the structure and unique phrasing in these very readable rainstorm thoughts - - searching for answers when rain does a rumba makes for can be disconcerting....... a great read Lydi.

[Lydia Shutter]

Thank you, Fay. Lydi*

[Neville]

Yes indeed, another great poem with some exceptional turns of phrase and memorable lines .. this is certainly one of them dwell worthy poems Lydi**............. Neville :)

[Lydia Shutter]

Dwell all you like...no extra charge! :) Thanks so much, Neville. Lydi**

[Neville]

Dwell I am still here............. see :)

[Lydia Shutter]

Laughing here...have a great day, Neville.

[Neville]

You too Lydi** :)

[Einstein Noodle]

crazy introspective closing Lyd! love your perfectly placed consonance in:
"raindrops rumba on the roof
water whispers to the windows" in my opinion ;) our sense of helplessness in such storms is one of life's most precious of epiphanies says i ... how else would we ever cry "Abba....Father" i think you are a corker dear friend .. never disappointed reading your stuff!! love on ya .. top o' the mahrnin' darlin' :)
E.

[Lydia Shutter]

A corker? Okay then....I know you are speaking English, but I understand American! LOL I will take it as a compliment! thank you so much, E. Hope you have a fantastic day. Lydi**

[Einstein Noodle]

absolutely a compliment Lyd!!! peace and joy

[Robert Trakofler]

well i guess that's why i like your writing so much... I am a grammatical flaw and I love rain storms they match my mind flows most days sporadic thuds groans and occasional lightning bolts but never where i put my mind in motion. This has an interesting tone to it O'lydia very pretty in a beautifully flawed way:)

[Lydia Shutter]

So you are a grammatical flaw as well? Who knew? :) The flaws in life always bring us beauty. My daddy taught me that...and he sang O'Lydia to me as well! Thanks so much, Robert. Lydi**