Balloon

I watched
you were the balloon that flew away
I cried
as you drifted to parts unknown
all those years ago
certain my heart would never be whole again
surely the sun would never shine again
and crickets would no longer
beat their drums at nightfall
but one morning
as a bouquet of long stemmed sunbeams
found a home on my desk
I realized
you were not the balloon flying away
you were only
a badly written sentence
in just one chapter of my life

Reviews

[B J Hughes]

The introduction is so captivating! One, grounded, held prisoner of this earth watching another, a free spirit, floating away out of their grasp. What a setting to couch the reflections of heart and mind! And then the "turn-around" at the end with those long-stemmed sunbeams, the realization that a page can indeed be turned to new chapters. Some discussion has been made about the erasure of that 'bad sentence", and it is a valid notion. But can memories ever be erased? Better to leave the sentence as-is as a reminder of lessons learned in that chapter in our lives. Better to create new and beautiful memories that will bury the old beneath them. :o)

[Lydia Shutter]

No, I don't think memories can be erased...not totally. They become part of who we are and how we deal with life. thank you so much, BJ. Lydi**

[highonwords]

i could feel the hollow ache in my heart, as i read this poem - the longing in my eyes, to reach out to the person, going away - but just like the balloon, we learn to drift and move on from the pain of this memory

regards,
steph

[Lydia Shutter]

Thanks, Steph. Lydi**

[R.M.C]

Simply lovely. I love the metaphor of a balloon flying away as someone - a loved one - being lost from you (possibly transitioning to the 'beyond') and how a balloon also translates to a loved one being a simple pleasure in life - one which is fragile and quick to leave. You then detail how profound an effect their 'passing' would have on you and the world. Then out of the despair comes the light - which you've depicted beautifully - enlightening you to the reality that though they won't be forgotten and will always be missed, life is a book that's full of chapters, paragraphs and sentences, and they're only one such sentence - a "badly written sentence" at that. Very accurate and beautifully portrayed...

[Lydia Shutter]

Thank you so much, R.M.C. I appreciate your review. Lydi**

[Érenn]

What I really loved about this read is the supposed imagery it was portraying and then there is a complete change in dynamics, the transition is truly sublime. I love the way the narrator (presuming you) longed for someone so much yet of course regrets still existed in that wanting, but then as time passed did the longing for the person faded, yet I wonder memories never really fade do they? They remain imprinted in our book of life, maybe just a bad sentence or an entire chapter, depending on how things turned out and how it ended up affecting life in general ^^ I like it much Thank you for sharing ^^

[Lydia Shutter]

I appreciate your review. Lydi**

[Jimmy Yetts]

With another title, those last three lines could be a complete poem--an excellent, metaphorical, perceptive bit of work.
Of course, "Balloon" floats higher; allowing a more comprehensive view of your extended pain and its eventual dissipation.
Dynamite read, Lydi!

[Lydia Shutter]

I so rarely can achieve what I want to say in three lines....guess I talk too much! :) Thank you for the wonderful review, Jimmy. Lydi**

[Woody]

your poems are always romantic, sensual and well crafted but you always manage to slip in a line or two that will stay with the reader for a long long time. the last two lines are the cherry on the pie.

[Lydia Shutter]

Thanks very much, Woody. I always appreciate your reviews. Lydi**

[poet_feefee]

Wow. Why can't I just say wow? Too few characters.

"crickets would no longer beat their drums at nightfall" and "bouquet of long stemmed sunbeams"

Wow. I saw their drum sticks and felt the warm sunbeam.

Thanks.

[Lydia Shutter]

WOW is a good reaction if you ask me! :) thanks so much. Lydi**

[Lyn Anderson]

An interesting twist to the end of this ... I was sad, but now I am not. Well played.

[Lydia Shutter]

Thanks so much for your review. Lydi**

[Mary Helda]

A badly written sentence that can be changed,edited,scrapped out completely or even replaced with a correct beautiful sentence..that is hiw life is,something wonderful and better always comes up after a bad phase...love this piece..
Beautiful

[Lydia Shutter]

I appreciate your kind review, Mary. Lydi**

[Mary Helda]

You are welcome:-)

[B. Boileau]

Le Ballon Rouge... We all have known those bad sentences and those balloons. Some can be easily forgotten, others not so much. Sometimes it just takes a little event to realize they are no more than a small part of the whole story... C'est la vie

Thank you Lydi

bill

[Lydia Shutter]

Merci, mon ami! I appreciate your review. Lydi**