embracing the emotion

this photo was taken on mother's day 2010. my mom passed away less than four months later. i cherish the photo and the memories

mother's day 2010

sometimes i think i hear it

for just a moment

the IV pump beeping rhythmically

through middle-of-the-night angst

and in that moment i remember

the stale air

            the semi darkness

the roller coaster ride

of illness-convalescence-new illness

and the indifference

masquerading as compassion

from the “professionals”

the ones who told me i was a good daughter

                        but i had to let go

what did they know?

my world turned inside out

and then upside down for you

you held on and so did i

we ticked off days one by one

you occasionally giving me the gift of a smile

or a memory only we shared

            now that daddy was gone

the weeks sometimes had 10 days

each one holding what seemed like more than 24 hours

centimeter by centimeter i measured my steps

down the hallway to your apartment

never sure what i would find

never sure i could handle it                

but i did

because i am your daughter

strength is in my DNA

i carried you as you had carried me

your green eyes sparkled with pride

sunday's mother's day

my fifth without you

i'll go out with everyone

but your seat will be empty

yes, i will handle it

treading softly on memories

embracing the emotion

i miss you

 

 

If you are fortunate enough to have your Mom in your life, make sure you tell her you love her as often as you can.  

Make sure you cherish her.  Don't wait till it's too late.

Reviews

[Willard Wells]

Very beautiful and touching tribute to your mom. As much as we suffer the professional that try to appear caring are beaten down by the scene like your mother day after day. It's hard not to have apathy when your daily life is surrounded by this continuing tragedy. I also feel the pull of the past and my mom as she passed in "09 and this year seemed to be harder than passed years. Thanks for sharing your beautiful words.

[Lydia Shutter]

Yes, as I have said, I totally understand why the professionals have to be disconnected. If they were not, they would have a hard time dealing with all the pain and suffering before them every day. It's strange how we miss them more on some days than on others. Sorry you are feeling her loss more now. Thank you for the review. Lydi**

[Ruth]

Always in the heart...emotive dedication dear Lydi...the sadness of the situation does haunt sometimes, I resonate but we also hold memories close and they can warm when needed, beautiful xo

[Lydia Shutter]

thank you so much, Poppy. Happy Mother's Day to you....whether or not you have children, every woman is a mother to someone. Lydi**

[Ruth]

And Happy Mother's Day to you sweetheart xo

[Lydia Shutter]

Thank you!

[Joyce S. Greene]

Yes, Lydi, it is a very sad poem but it expresses your love so beautifully. I pray this poem gave you solace and that you will enjoy your Mother's Day with your family. Your mother loved you and was very proud of you. Your devotion to her was legend and you can hold your head high.

[Lydia Shutter]

Joyce, thank you so much for taking the time to read and review this poem. I was devoted to her...as she was devoted to me. Happy Mother's Day, my friend. Lydi**

[anne]

this is amazing Lydia, you are a strong beautiful daughter and your relation, aww its precious...I known we miss our dear ones always but remember the sting tied with dear remain alive forever...even rules of nature fail in this concern, for us they are always alive and near in our heart...:))

[Lydia Shutter]

You are absolutely right, Anne. Thank you for this warm and wonderful review. Happy Mother's Day to you. Lydi**

[Jimmy Yetts]

You are a concerned, compassionate daughter who could not conveniently "warehouse" your mother in one of those terribly sad "old age" institutions. Today, that degree of devotion, unfortunately, appears to be uncommon.
"embracing the emotion"--while it deals with a tragic event--is, in reality, an inspiring account of love's ultimate triumph over death.
Both Mom--and you--have good lives to lay before your Maker.

[Lydia Shutter]

Thank you so much, Frankie. Lydi**

[Miss Sharon]

What a beautiful and loving write for Mom! I know she is proud of you Lydi. I know I am. Happy Mothers Day to YOU my dear friend. ~Sharon

[Lydia Shutter]

Thank you, Sharon. Lydi*

[Jamestown]

This is so heart felt!
My mother and I have had a tough relationship the past 20 years
but I love her dearly and with the help of Christ we have been able
to slowly but surely mend our fractured bond, thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[Lydia Shutter]

Glad you are making things better with your mom. You will never regret it. Thank you, James. Lydi**

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Lydi... the waiting with someone who
nourished you ... who becomes a part of you.
The warmth of memories, the gentleness of
an evening breeze, the light appearing in the
dawn of ever after. Lovely poem for Mothers Day.
truly, Pat

[Lydia Shutter]

You are always gentle and lacy with your reviews, Pat. Thank you so much. Lydi**

[Patricia Wedel]

Lydi, the photo of you and your Mother is
a reflection of your closeness and the Joy
that you share. truly, Pat

[Kelly Scheppers]

I wish with all my heart that I didn't have a clue what this life would be like, without my mother. I do know that no matter how old I become, I will always carry her with me.

"because i am your daughter
strength is in my DNA
i carried you as you had carried me"

...staggering words from a heart still bruised! I know Lydi, I know...


Kelly
x

[Lydia Shutter]

(((Kelly))) I know you understand all too well. Thank you for your compassionate and empathetic review. Lydi**

[Sheila Kline]

Your expressions of endearment and love for your precious mother are riveting with a touching "play by play" recall of what she meant to you, of how you were there for HER with the strength endowed to you by her, in your DNA from her!!

May you find comfort this Mother's Day as she is ever held in your heart as you handle it as she taught you to handle it!

The photo of you with her is absolutely divine, so precious, mother and daughter in sync, loving one the other, caring for the other, beaming with overwhelming JOY!!!

[Lydia Shutter]

Sheila, your review is like a huge hug for me on this Mother's Day weekend. Thank you so much. Lydi**

[Sanober]

To say that this shook me up would be an understatement. That photo is so heartbreakingly beautiful Lydi, it's making me want to weep. What a fragile, angelic beauty, your dearest mother. How does life go on when it feels like you've lost the very sky above you? I'm glad you have so many wonderful memories of her. your message at the end has moved me very much. a mother is truly a gift ..i don't know what i'd ever do without her. i never express my love enough. a very poignant and powerful poem, my friend.

[Lydia Shutter]

Life goes on because it must, my friend. It is never quite the same though. Oh, yes, I have many wonderful memories of my mom and the love she brought into my life. She was strong, wise, and loving. I was so fortunate to have her. I know you love your mother very much too. May you and she be together for many more years. Thank you, sweet Sanober, for your compassionate review. Lydi**