I was led to your poetry, given its merits, by another who shall remain nameless.
I picked this piece to review after scanning many others.
Why personally?
a. Spring is my favourite time of year too; and
b. I like your reference to T.S. Eliot and 'The Wasteland'
amongst other things.
I often do a structured analysis of poetry in review before giving the writer my emotional reaction.
At times, I will do stream of consciousness reviews, particularly with short prose or if a poem merits it.
I try to vary my tone.
But at times I end up with the same structured reaction you are about to get here.
Let's go.
1) Form: 14 lines. A sonnet?
2) Rhyme: Virtually none. Shakespeare always had fixed rhyme in his sonnets of 14 lines.
3) Rhythm: There are no constant, whereas Shakespeare used Iambic Pentameter
In 1 to 3,does any of this really matter? Not at all. I don't think you are not trying to copy anyone. If you are let me know. You are just writing as you wish to I think. Bravo. Your own style? Free verse with no punctuation.
4) Use of English: Simple. You use no complex words. It befits your topic.
5) Metaphor / simile: Ah now here is where you get into your own. You use it effectively. These are my favourite lines from the poem and my one example:
Your opening lines are designed to fascinate:
'breakfast is a bowl of dreams
swimming in the milk of fantasy
my fingers dance gathering lyrical rosebuds'
6) Meaning: Simple. Spring is your favourite season as it is mine. It is both rebirth and new beginnings. It presages the warm days of summer. Yet summer presages the decline into death and winter is death itself, where the return of Spring feels at times a faint hope.
7) Emotional impact on me? Major. Your topic calms me and lulls me in the way it is written.
8) Analogy: And so we get to T.S. Eliot's 'The Wasteland'.
It starts with the epigraph:
“Nam Sibyllam quidem Cumis ego ipse oculis meis vidi
in ampulla pendere, et cum illi pueri dicerent:Σι™υλλα
τι θελεις; respondebat illa:αποθανειν θελω.”
Translation?
"I saw with my own eyes the Sibyl at Cumae hanging in a cage, and when the boys said to her: “Sibyl, what do you want?” she answered: “I want to die.”
It then divides into 5 sections where the first is 'The burial of the dead'. The first line is the one you quote and here are the first few lines in context:
'APRIL is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
Winter kept us warm, covering
Earth in forgetful snow, feeding
A little life with dried tubers.
Summer surprised us, coming over the Starnbergersee'
In these lines he tries to cover feelings about Spring, Summer and Winter.
This by far Eliot's best known and most complex poem where he keeps on referring to writers in times gone by in different languages.
There are as many readers as there are versions of understanding of why 'April is the cruellest month'.
Perhaps the most cogent I have heard of Eliot relates to the epigraph, and I quote:
' Refer to the epigraph from the Sibyl in Eliot's "The Wasteland." To a woman who was granted eternal life but forgot to ask for eternal youth, April would be the cruellest month. It would mark the coming of a new year, a chance for all of earth's creatures to be reborn and face all the joys of the upcoming spring.
But not for the Sibyl. She must rot away inside her cage, watching the snow melt and knowing that in 365 days it will melt again. There is no escape from the cycle; she can not leave The Round. Shrouded in despair, the Sibyl laments, "April is the cruellest month."
Frankly it matters little what Eliot meant by April. There is the greater simplicity you mean. March but above April are the start of Spring. Life begins again as you put it:
'winter’s whispered sadness fades
springtime kisses my cheek
spaces of silence are now filled with mellifluous birdsongs'
You have to appreciate that as a writer you will always get a different reaction depending on the reader. There is no generic reader. The writer is always in conversation with one person at a time, the one with the book in their hands or the laptop on their knees.
You have just hit a singular reader, as unique as the next.
You stimulate in me emotions and thought processes that others may not have.
But every writer MUST allow the reader their own reaction to and interpretation of their writing.
Now you've had mine.
9) Conclusion: Well written. You stirred my imagination with this delicate piece of poetry.
I hope you find this helpful in many ways, but above all as the power of the pen to make a single reader think.
James, I thank you for your in depth review. No, I am not sticking to any particular style. I some.. read moreJames, I thank you for your in depth review. No, I am not sticking to any particular style. I sometimes rhyme, but not in this one. I sometimes use iambic pentameter, but not in this one. Just as you say, "every writer MUST allow the reader their own reaction", it is also true that every reader MUST not assume anything about the writer. I appreciate the time you took to rip apart every aspect of my poetry. Quite an interesting essay. If I were still an English teacher, I would grade it generously. Lydi*
"April" is one of the most fav. seasons of all time. It's always so calm. Tranquil. soft. warmed. Tempted. So tender (in nights). sweated though a wee bit breezy. windy. Liked the choice of words. Nice imagery!
Oh, so your birthday is this month too? Seems we have a tremendous amount in common. I am original.. read moreOh, so your birthday is this month too? Seems we have a tremendous amount in common. I am originally from Jersey, was an English teacher (granted, that did not last long), and have an April birthday as well. The "vestiges of winter" do not reach all the way to South Florida, but there is definitely a difference in the weather when April arrives. Again, I thank you so much for your kind review. Lydi**
9 Years Ago
Ahhh. Small world, which makes it that much easier for kindred spirits to find each other!
winter’s whispered sadness fades... This is such a lovely ode to a beautiful month, Lydi. I always greet April with a mixture of joy and panic... Joy at the sunshine and life, panic that the school year is waning so quickly...
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Yes, the year does fly by and the older we get, the faster the calendar pages seem to turn. Thank y.. read moreYes, the year does fly by and the older we get, the faster the calendar pages seem to turn. Thank you for stopping by, Rita. Enjoy your Spring break! Lydi**
winter’s whispered sadness fades
springtime kisses my cheek
Yes Lydi, spring is here - my favorite time of year. Love everything about this one Lydi. You have left me with a smile on this gorgeous spring day!
:) Julie
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Keep smiling, Julie! :) Thanks for stopping by. Lydi**
I must agree with you; April is compassionate with us. Days are longer with sunshine rays than in previous months. Birds croon from dusk until dawn in cheerful chirps. Critters awaken from their hibernation and come out to play. Grass is a little greener and growing. Buds appear on trees that will soon be blooming with fragrant flowers. It makes one feel fuzzy and hopeful inside.
Thank you for this, it warms my heart.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Your in depth review is much appreciated, Nadia. Thank you. Lydi**
Wow, THAT'S how you paint April's picture!! Personally, T.S. Eliot is one of my favourite poets and I really did enjoy the poem, "The Wasteland". He is known for using countless refrences into his poems, masking them up with his own take on them. He was sure a sneaky fellow.
And I reckon, you payed him a nice tribute by using a reference to his poem in your writing. Way to go!!
"cool ceramic tile welcomes my bare feet" is my favorite line around here, from the sea of many other excellent ones.
Wow ! Snuck in tonight to see what fare might await and I found a poetic spring feast. The wordsmithing is as perfect as always and the Eliot reference awesome. Nicely done. ~Jim
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks, Jim. Always happy when you stop by. Happy Easter to you! Lydi**
Jesus Lydia that picture says it all the bloom of youth springtime of our lives is there a thing more beautiful? I doubt it I see you have reciwved a Magill award James is nothing if not thorough congrats
winter’s whispered sadness fades
springtime kisses my cheek
The poem makes April so special, so let it be, let it be,let it be , welcoming month of new spring has sprung in april
I was led to your poetry, given its merits, by another who shall remain nameless.
I picked this piece to review after scanning many others.
Why personally?
a. Spring is my favourite time of year too; and
b. I like your reference to T.S. Eliot and 'The Wasteland'
amongst other things.
I often do a structured analysis of poetry in review before giving the writer my emotional reaction.
At times, I will do stream of consciousness reviews, particularly with short prose or if a poem merits it.
I try to vary my tone.
But at times I end up with the same structured reaction you are about to get here.
Let's go.
1) Form: 14 lines. A sonnet?
2) Rhyme: Virtually none. Shakespeare always had fixed rhyme in his sonnets of 14 lines.
3) Rhythm: There are no constant, whereas Shakespeare used Iambic Pentameter
In 1 to 3,does any of this really matter? Not at all. I don't think you are not trying to copy anyone. If you are let me know. You are just writing as you wish to I think. Bravo. Your own style? Free verse with no punctuation.
4) Use of English: Simple. You use no complex words. It befits your topic.
5) Metaphor / simile: Ah now here is where you get into your own. You use it effectively. These are my favourite lines from the poem and my one example:
Your opening lines are designed to fascinate:
'breakfast is a bowl of dreams
swimming in the milk of fantasy
my fingers dance gathering lyrical rosebuds'
6) Meaning: Simple. Spring is your favourite season as it is mine. It is both rebirth and new beginnings. It presages the warm days of summer. Yet summer presages the decline into death and winter is death itself, where the return of Spring feels at times a faint hope.
7) Emotional impact on me? Major. Your topic calms me and lulls me in the way it is written.
8) Analogy: And so we get to T.S. Eliot's 'The Wasteland'.
It starts with the epigraph:
“Nam Sibyllam quidem Cumis ego ipse oculis meis vidi
in ampulla pendere, et cum illi pueri dicerent:Σι™υλλα
τι θελεις; respondebat illa:αποθανειν θελω.”
Translation?
"I saw with my own eyes the Sibyl at Cumae hanging in a cage, and when the boys said to her: “Sibyl, what do you want?” she answered: “I want to die.”
It then divides into 5 sections where the first is 'The burial of the dead'. The first line is the one you quote and here are the first few lines in context:
'APRIL is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
Winter kept us warm, covering
Earth in forgetful snow, feeding
A little life with dried tubers.
Summer surprised us, coming over the Starnbergersee'
In these lines he tries to cover feelings about Spring, Summer and Winter.
This by far Eliot's best known and most complex poem where he keeps on referring to writers in times gone by in different languages.
There are as many readers as there are versions of understanding of why 'April is the cruellest month'.
Perhaps the most cogent I have heard of Eliot relates to the epigraph, and I quote:
' Refer to the epigraph from the Sibyl in Eliot's "The Wasteland." To a woman who was granted eternal life but forgot to ask for eternal youth, April would be the cruellest month. It would mark the coming of a new year, a chance for all of earth's creatures to be reborn and face all the joys of the upcoming spring.
But not for the Sibyl. She must rot away inside her cage, watching the snow melt and knowing that in 365 days it will melt again. There is no escape from the cycle; she can not leave The Round. Shrouded in despair, the Sibyl laments, "April is the cruellest month."
Frankly it matters little what Eliot meant by April. There is the greater simplicity you mean. March but above April are the start of Spring. Life begins again as you put it:
'winter’s whispered sadness fades
springtime kisses my cheek
spaces of silence are now filled with mellifluous birdsongs'
You have to appreciate that as a writer you will always get a different reaction depending on the reader. There is no generic reader. The writer is always in conversation with one person at a time, the one with the book in their hands or the laptop on their knees.
You have just hit a singular reader, as unique as the next.
You stimulate in me emotions and thought processes that others may not have.
But every writer MUST allow the reader their own reaction to and interpretation of their writing.
Now you've had mine.
9) Conclusion: Well written. You stirred my imagination with this delicate piece of poetry.
I hope you find this helpful in many ways, but above all as the power of the pen to make a single reader think.
James, I thank you for your in depth review. No, I am not sticking to any particular style. I some.. read moreJames, I thank you for your in depth review. No, I am not sticking to any particular style. I sometimes rhyme, but not in this one. I sometimes use iambic pentameter, but not in this one. Just as you say, "every writer MUST allow the reader their own reaction", it is also true that every reader MUST not assume anything about the writer. I appreciate the time you took to rip apart every aspect of my poetry. Quite an interesting essay. If I were still an English teacher, I would grade it generously. Lydi*