the day stirs me
asking me who i want to be
the girl infatuated with hope
or the woman whose dreams
have faded over time
headlines weep this morning
but i am thirsty for good news
and a strong cup of
coffee
my mind migrates
to a cocoon of recollection
where the sun was always shining
and the
silence between stars smiled down on me
this is who i will always be
so when the night comes to call
i will dance to its happy song
A lovely and striking piece Lydi. The mention of the two completely opposite versions of who you could be highlight really well the different versions of oneself and the conscious decisions of which aspect of yourself will be brought to the front - reflecting reality and the mind in a very simple but easy to understand way. Though the whole piece is great, there are two more key point I would personally say stands out (along with the point I've already made): "headlines weep this morning" is a simple line but says a lot, making subtle mention to the media and how they can make things depressing and put a sad and pitiful spin on the world - I'me very glad you added this as it fits in exceedingly well with the overall topic; and "my mind migrates to a cocoon of recollection" is another key aspect - especially with the lines following - as it broaches the ideas behind human nature, how we automatically think and dream of better times, where "the sun was always shining". A really great piece. I hope I've made my thoughts clear and that it expresses how good your poem is.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
My goodness, this is one of the best reviews I have ever received and the fact it is on a poem I wro.. read moreMy goodness, this is one of the best reviews I have ever received and the fact it is on a poem I wrote over two years ago makes me so very happy. Thank you very much. Lydi**
A lovely and striking piece Lydi. The mention of the two completely opposite versions of who you could be highlight really well the different versions of oneself and the conscious decisions of which aspect of yourself will be brought to the front - reflecting reality and the mind in a very simple but easy to understand way. Though the whole piece is great, there are two more key point I would personally say stands out (along with the point I've already made): "headlines weep this morning" is a simple line but says a lot, making subtle mention to the media and how they can make things depressing and put a sad and pitiful spin on the world - I'me very glad you added this as it fits in exceedingly well with the overall topic; and "my mind migrates to a cocoon of recollection" is another key aspect - especially with the lines following - as it broaches the ideas behind human nature, how we automatically think and dream of better times, where "the sun was always shining". A really great piece. I hope I've made my thoughts clear and that it expresses how good your poem is.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
My goodness, this is one of the best reviews I have ever received and the fact it is on a poem I wro.. read moreMy goodness, this is one of the best reviews I have ever received and the fact it is on a poem I wrote over two years ago makes me so very happy. Thank you very much. Lydi**
You went back over two years to find this one and I thank you so much, Samuel. I appreciate the rev.. read moreYou went back over two years to find this one and I thank you so much, Samuel. I appreciate the review. Lydi**
Wow Lydi, firstly I must apologise since I first enjoyed this particular write of yours a long time ago now and for some inexplicable reason failed or forgot to comment on it. I had to check through all the associated reviews just to make sure, although had I found an earlier one of mine I am sure I would have been compelled to write another.
Anyway, now for my confession. I found this piece to be much more familiar than it most likely would have, if I had but only read it previously. Much, much more so in fact.... I felt a distinct connection. A little spooky really, almost as if we shared the same kind of experiences and associated perceptions. I shall now quit rambling on. Consider this consigned to my favourites....N
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
I think many of us feel this way at some point, Neville. Truth is, although we are very different i.. read moreI think many of us feel this way at some point, Neville. Truth is, although we are very different in so many ways, most people share a lot of commonalities. I so appreciate you reading one I posted a while ago. Have a lovely day. Lydi**
Love the lines that Passionflower highlighted. This is a nicely described 'flow' as we move between the tides of days and have both happy and sad items on our menus. I can relate to it although at times it is very difficult to hear that tune to dance to Lydi.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
That's true, John, but as Abraham Lincoln told us, "most men are about as happy as they decide to be.. read moreThat's true, John, but as Abraham Lincoln told us, "most men are about as happy as they decide to be!" I know that is a paraphrase, but it is close. Thank you for the wonderful review. Lydi**
"headlines weep this morning
but i am thirsty for good news
and a strong cup of coffee"
Your words are both uplifting and inspirational. I especially like the last lines "so when the night comes to call i will dance to its happy song" I hope whatever you were dealing with vanished into thin air!
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thanks so much. I believe we have to force ourselves to remember the good in our lives on some days.. read moreThanks so much. I believe we have to force ourselves to remember the good in our lives on some days. Not giving in the sadness is a chore, but it is worth it. Thank you for your review. Lydi**
Lyd, I am so in love with your pen right now, I felt like this poem was talking about me and when this day comes to an end, I will dance to its happy song, at least you have ended my day well.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Cassie, you are such a sweetie! Thank you very much. Have a great weekend. Lydi**
dear Lydi... "the silence between stars smiled
down on me" is so charming... a time for
reflection and a dance of dusty memories that
form the person we are... a place where we
can celebrate life... truly peaceful ...
filled with nuggets of love and devotion.
Always dear friend... Pat
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
WOW, Pat...two reviews of this one....I thank you once again for your always flowery and poetic revi.. read moreWOW, Pat...two reviews of this one....I thank you once again for your always flowery and poetic reviews. You are a sweetheart. Lydi**
dear Lydi... "the silence between stars
smiled down on me" is a quiet reverie of
Heaven's grace bestowed upon my heart
where lies the sweetest refrains of
love's divine presence. Your poetry is
penned with a golden quill. truly... Pat
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
You are so good to me, sweet Pat. Thank you for this lovely review. Lydi**
This is why you seem do wise Lydi. You choose to live and write constructively.
I had to do this limits every day for years... I was not always successful. Still, it was better than giving in to the momentum of my life.
Your are a beacon of light.
Some say I still have my rose colored glasses on my nose, but I do see past them.....I just choose n.. read moreSome say I still have my rose colored glasses on my nose, but I do see past them.....I just choose not to "live" there. David, your review is warm and much appreciated. May you walk on the sunny side of the street. Lydi**
10 Years Ago
Sorry for the spelling and typos... I need to stop reviewing on my I phone... ha. I am happy you .. read moreSorry for the spelling and typos... I need to stop reviewing on my I phone... ha. I am happy you were able to understand me.
10 Years Ago
I started out my career as an English teacher....I have read FAR worse! :)
My motto for sure. Up, out of bed, and run till I smile --- it's not dancing, but you get the picture.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
There are days we need to push ourselves....and fool ourselves into smiling. Yup, I get the picture.. read moreThere are days we need to push ourselves....and fool ourselves into smiling. Yup, I get the picture! :) Thank you so much. Lydi**