Pardon My French

 

 

 

 

 

If you will, mademoiselle
please pardon my French
but your whining and moaning
have a malodorous stench

Domestic adventures
notwithstanding you see
through life experience
I’ve learned a thing or three

I won’t call you “mon ami”
that would be presumptuous n'est ce pas?
But your undue displeasure
muddies your ink reservoir

You see, the world will not sob
they’ll not shed a tear
when drama’s the train
and you’re the engineer

Écoutez for a moment
put emotion on the shelf
really look in the mirror
try to analyze yourself

Hanging out dirty laundry
won’t make it disappear
Your confabulations come off
as a bit insincere

Silky unmentionables
are meant for the boudoir
for the eyes of your lover
your Romeo, your Czar

And complaints are just like garters
geesh, what else can I say?
Keep them under your skirt mademoiselle
la fin, s’il vous plaît

Author's Note

artwork by Alberto Vargas courtesy of etsy.com

Yup, this was another vent of mine.....I just love writing them! :)

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

A very clever, and good rant my friend, It's not what I am used from you, (but have missed much lately) but I must say, I totally enjoyed this one... In your ending I hear your fantastic English tongue... through this very well French. This one is neat to your lovely character, and with a wink, which I love... ;-) It's good to be back and reading you. I loved it too.

- Elisa

[Lydia Shutter]

Yes, this is different than my usual. I decided to post two older vents from another poetry site....made me feel good to do it! :) Definitely with a wink...tongue in cheek. Thanks for the comments, Elisa. Knuffels, Lydi**

Always my pleasure :) love to read your work xx

[Einstein Noodle]

for me these are the killing lines:
"But your undue displeasure
muddies your ink reservoir"
I think your rant is intelligent, sing song that is so relatable .. and you have put a mirror up to all ... i notice that men are excluded tho Lyni! so when i look into it i am a vampire it seems ;) i am glad you shared your rant .. its a good one ma'am
E.
ps i was actually able to remember my high school French enough to translate without difficulty ..

[Lydia Shutter]

Glad I was able to test your high school French! :) This one was written many years ago and was a rant against a female poet on another site. It made me feel better to write it at the time and now I just laugh about it when I see it. Thanks so much for the review, E. Lydi**

[Patricia Wedel]

Imagination is much more seductive... so they say... a place and time for everything. Very alluring with garters and smiles. truly, Pat

[Lydia Shutter]

I wrote this one when we were on another site and you probably reviewed it there too. You are such a good friend. Thanks, Pat. Lydi**

[Papaya]

Even when you vent you do it with such class Lydi. So glad this popped up on my feed. :)

[Lydia Shutter]

It's an oldie, but I am glad you saw it and reviewed it...thanks, Ana. Lydi**

[Papaya]

My pleasure Lydi, and may I just say I totally loved the touch of sass too! :)
have a great day!

[Lydia Shutter]

[Cassie]

ahhhhhh...okey this is a real vent, i love your choice of words always Lydia

[Lydia Shutter]

Hi Cassie....this one is five years old and I still remember what I wrote it about....and how angry I was. Seems I rhyme when I am angry! :) Thanks so much for the review. Lydi**

[Neville]

Let it all out why dont'cha that's what vents are for.. superbly, subliminally and sublimely vented, no less.. amore... N x

[Lydia Shutter]

Wow, this one is 5 years old and I had almost forgotten about it. Thanks so much for re-discovering it for me too, Neville. Merci beaucoup, mon ami! Lydi**

[Neville]

mon plaisir sincère Lydi** xx

[Lydia Shutter]

:) I knew you would answer en francais! :)

[Neville]

Les grands esprits se rencontrent x

[Lydia Shutter]

Indeed....and we have such great minds! :)

[Neville]

and long may they reign over us :)

[ron s king]

Un grand poème amusant, Poetess and I enjoyed every line. It was witty and written with a keen and clever eye. I loved the last verse, it punched home the whole truth of the matter. Great work, Lydi!
Ron.

[Dye]

What a witty rant. A true talent for sure. I need to learn how to vent like this, so poetic!

[Lydia Shutter]

Thank you very much. Lydi**

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I like the complaint so eloquent in its rendition...pardon my French indeed. (smile)

[Lydia Shutter]

Glad you enjoyed. Thanks for stopping by. Lydi**

[Me]

Very eloquently put Lydi...kinda reminds me of someone ;) x

[Lydia Shutter]

Hehehehe really??? I am sure you remember the first "airing" of this one. Thanks, Raven. lydi**

[Me]

I do indeed xx

[Joyce S. Greene]

Here, here, Lydi! Rant on. You certainly earned a good rant or two or three . . . We're all here rooting for you. Write on!

[Lydia Shutter]

Thank you so much, Joyce! You were there through it all with me and I am so glad you are still with me now. You are such a good friend. lydi**

[Joyce S. Greene]

You, too, Lydi.