Ch 1 - Beautiful Body

I was bored of this life in space, and desired a body like the ones I shine upon each night. I have seen other lights shoot toward the earth and become born, but I didn’t know how. The more I desired a life, the more I felt a humming light pull me. My surroundings were dark, and empty, but I felt as if I was not far from accomplishment. I called out with my thoughts and inner eye.  I searched the dark spaces for any base, structure or memory to help me mold a body for myself. But there was none. I waited for what seems like a life time in the darkness. I was waiting and searching for and eternity in that land that is near the thriving planet of earth, but too far to be touched by it. I was numb and shapeless. I was everywhere but nowhere at the same time. I had to create my body and leave that place. In my soul I could feel a longing; a light that was waiting to be found. That was it!

 I then realized what I had to do. I pulled my mind away from the corners of the eternal distances, and focused all my mind and power into my own self. I searched my mind and my soul and with much difficulty I felt as though I had gotten closer to my goal. The darkness dispersed slowly into a dim light, then grew quicker and quicker into a small ball of light that lay in the center of a dark space in my soul. I stared at it with amazement and wonder of how it could have been right here all along. It was so easy to find but I was looking outside myself for the answer when all along it was inside me. I felt my heart melt with comfort and love and the small ball of bright light hummed toward me, urging me to come to it. I focused my mind in its direction and zoomed my eyes forward to the light. It got bigger as I focused closer in on it.  The light became almost unbearably bright. Stinging my mind slightly with its rays of power, but I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t back away. As I neared it the darkness fell from my sight until all I saw was pure white light. I could feel my soul, twisting and falling in different directions as I drew myself into the light. I felt as though I was falling, which was odd to me since I didn’t have a body. My spirit, that had extended to all ends of that dark land had been quickly withdrawn and sucked back to my core. The light stopped stinging my mind, and my soul suddenly felt extremely small and vulnerable as I fell into it. I gazed in amazement at my soul’s sudden form. I had become the light. I was bright and soon grew to become a huge white sphere. I grew bigger and bigger and bigger until my light could no longer grow! Then everything went black.

I felt a numbness that was accompanied by a slight tingle and an ache. I looked down at my form that was now in a strange room that was thick and soft all around. The walls were pink and fleshy and there was something light on the outside, causing the room to glow within. I tried to reach out my mind but it was contained in this strong impenetrable room. My form was a glob of mist and shimmery air that hazed around me, waiting to be formed. I realized that the world I was hoping to find was just outside these walls, and all I needed to do was make a body that was strong enough to break the walls down. So I began my molding and inventing, trying to create a structure that was unique but beautiful as well as strong and useful. I got frustrated several times as I made a structure that didn’t have much balance, then one that was too small. I tried a round form, a twisted form, and a rubber form. I tried stone, grass, bark. I couldn’t find a covering that would last without rotting or shattering. I discovered that whatever was surrounding the walls of my domain or whatever had touched it at any point in time, I was able to withdraw the memories of the structure and place them in my mind to base my work off of. The memories I saw were spectacular.

I saw a strange creature on four legs, made of soft outer material and wet slimy insides that caused it to move freely on the earth rather than stay in one spot like the rocks and trees. I yearned for movement, so I copied the idea of organs and blood. However, I changed the shape to be my own. I decided that I didn’t want to carry things in my mouth like that other creature, but instead would use my hands. I made my body go vertical rather than horizontal and formed my hands to be capable of grasping things. I shaped my legs to move swiftly and to have much strength. I then pulled memories of other creatures that were naked and tall and thin and that had a patch of hair on top. I fancied that look a bit and gave my own figure some hair. Though I liked the idea of a tail and long ears as well as the fact that one is male and the other is female. I chose to be female, imagining the luxury of giving birth to my own young, which is one thing I never thought possible until I saw the memory of a small fuzzy creature popping out its babies and seeing slight glances of them grow and become to look like their mother. I then focused on the memories of temperature and found that it changes all year round. So I gave myself the ability to grow thick fur in the cold times and then reduce it to thin fur for the summer time. I found a memory of a creature has a flowing tail and pointed ears but best of all I liked the eyes. It was circular at day and slit thin at night. I added this to my body and after a few more designs and colorations I was complete. My new form was created and ready to become a part of me.

 I suddenly felt my body slide down into the bottom of the pink soft room and began to fall into dark red light that began to mold me. A sudden rush of aches and tingles erupted within me as I felt my imagination come to life inside me. Blood streamed through the veins that I created, and I felt my limbs and tail become heavy and warm. My head swarmed with dizziness and I felt a sudden sickness in me that I couldn’t shake. Then suddenly a pounding vibration struck my chest and refused to stop. I could feel the beating in my ears and down my expenditures to the very tips of my body.  I couldn’t understand the strange feeling until I was sucked down a whole and suddenly blinded by the bright light of a bright white spot in the blue sky, reminding me of the light I found in my soul not too long ago. I then automatically sucked in a gulp of air and filled my lungs and nose with smells and life. I felt overly joyed and excited as well as terrified. All this work would be useless if I were killed too soon to live.

I rolled into a sticky liquid that fell out of the pink fleshy room with me. I was unaware of this liquid while I was in there, but it was now covering my body in a slightly uncomfortable way. I spilled on the grass and realized that the beating in my ears and in my chest had faded dim enough not to be heard. I blinked my eyes slowly trying to get used to the brightness of the white light above me. I lay there motionless in the awkward position I fell into, with no strength yet to get up. My body felt heavy, weak, and tired. All things I didn’t expect to feel when I would first come into the world. Suddenly the sun became blocked and my body was covered with the shadow of a large leaf and a tall figure that was holding it. I took up the strength to lift my head and try to sit up. I became worried that I made a mistake when I made this body. I wonder why it’s so hard to control. I must have missed something upon creation.