Regret is your life, and your color is brown.

Jobless…You are now officially jobless, unemployed, out of work, whatever you want to call it-it’s you.

The anger finally seeping away all you’re left with on the bus ride home is a hollowness inside. Having never really been on the bus in the middle of the afternoon you find yourself taking in the unfamiliarity of it all. Distracting yourself from the grim reality of what just happened you find yourself scanning your eyes along the fellow passengers for some sort of distraction. You wonder what any of them are even doing on the bus in the middle of the afternoon. If any of them are like you….unemployed…

The distraction is only momentary though as you rest your eyes on the woman traveling with a small child across the aisle. A little boy not too much older then your son, and it all comes crashing back down on to you.

No job-no money. One more paycheck is all you will be getting and then that’s it… How will you survive? How will your kids survive? You won’t go down like this. You cant. You won’t. There’s no way.

With a new sense of determination you leap up from your seat and exit the bus a few stops from your home, making your way down the blocks you stop anywhere and everywhere you can, collecting job applications on the way. Only pausing to grab a newspaper you reach into your pocket to pay for it and discover the half eaten chocolate bar and tears well up in your eyes.

Your kids are in daycare, and that’s where they’ll stay, for today at least. Hell, for the rest of the week. Its already been paid for. That gives you a few days to find work, if you can’t then.. Well, there’s no sense sending them. You can’t afford it.

Scouring through the want ads you make call after call, each time met with the same response. They’re looking for someone with experience, with a college degree, heck with a high school diploma even and that’s not you. You cant type at 70wpm, you don’t have a CDL, you don’t even have a car…

And then it begins to creep into your mind. This is all your fault. Who do you think you are? You and your stupid pride. Why couldn’t you just swallow it down? Yeah you showed him alright. Storming out like you did, and now you can never go back…

Every bad decision you ever made is hanging over your head, crushing down on you at once.

Regret is your life, and your color is brown.