Jealousy is your face, and your color is green.

Seventeen dollars and forty two cents rustled along the bottom of your purse as you made your way down the street. Baby held tightly in your arm and a toddler clinging to your other.

The walk is slow although you wish it to be faster, your son can only take small steps and is fascinated by the dirty puddles that line the way. And as much as you try to make him avoid them he still manages to splash in a few, mud and dirty water inching up his legs. You cringed at the sight of it. Laundry was not in the budget, not today…

Finally you reach your destination and force him into the cold metal shopping cart against his protests. Still bouncing the baby in your arms you make your way down the aisles but it’s not as much bouncing as it is nervous energy as your eyes scan the prices on the shelves. Seventeen dollars and forty two cents…

Seventeen dollars and forty two cents wont buy much. A can of formula is 8.95 and as you begrudgingly reach for it you see her for the first time, only a few years older then you are, yet she is nothing like you. Dressed to perfection, standing just a few feet away, her cart is overfilled, delicacies practically spilling out the sides, and yet it doesn’t seem to be enough as she is piling more on.

A plump and very content looking infant sits in a car seat on top of it all cooing up at her as your own child begins to whine from the basket of your empty cart. He wants to get out. He wants to run and play and laugh, but now is not the time. Now is never the time.

Your force the pacifier back into his mouth just as the woman looks over. You know he’s too old for it but it’s the only way to keep the silence. You purposely avoid her gaze and begin to once more attempt to add the items in your cart silently in your mind and it shouldn’t be so hard as there are so few. Milk, formula, two apples and some bread.

But its hard to focus with her standing so close. An expensive scent of perfume is lingering in the air around her and growing stronger burning your nose as she stepped closer to you. It was enough to make you nauseous.

You catch a glimpse of the diamond crusted ring on her finger as her hand passes by the corner of your eye as she reached for something on the shelf next to you. Most likely a gift from an adoring husband and why wouldn’t she wear it proudly. They clearly have the means.

Able to give their child every advantage in the world you assume and even if not everyadvantage, definitely a warm bed in a safe home and sustenance aplenty.

As you watch her make her way down the aisle carefree and lighthearted you can feel it…

Jealousy is your face, and your color is green.