The First Day at School Without Bern

This is the true account of my first day at school without Bern.

Today was.....weird. I felt an obligation to walk to the top of the hill to console my heart-broken friend. See, her friend died on December 23rd. This girl was 14 and a sweetheart. I walked up to the hill and saw my friend come up as well. I wrapped her in an embrace and felt horrible for her. She seemed to be over it, but as a girl who's known her for 10 years, I knew differently. We sat in different seats on the bus, both trying not to think about the wretched and long day ahead of us. At school, we were greeted with ribbons that portrayed red, green, and the letter "B". B stood for Bernadette. Since we had a two-hour delay, we dropped 4th period. Gym. Bernadette was in my gym class. Thankfully I got to not miss her presence for 2 more periods. 6th period rolls around, geometry, with Mrs. Robinson. Bernadette sat next to me, so I knew that I would feel the loss of her presence as I would feel the loss of my heart. Two boys were fooling around and joking about who got to sit in her seat now. I felt so proud of one boy, when he told them to f-off. But, I guess everyone grieves in their own way. One of the guidance counselors came in. He sat down and stared at us for a while. Then he spoke. "I know everyone sees that Bernadette isn't here." We got quiet and listened. He went on about how if we need someone to talk to, then he is in the guidance office. He said that there were tons of kids who went down there every period just to talk and let out their feelings. Hearing it, so black-and-white, made me cry. And when I cry, I breathe heavily. Another girl, across the room from me, teared up as well. Her loving boyfriend watched over her to make sure she was really okay. I wonder if Bernadette had anybody to do that for her. Eventually the need for tears stopped and we resumed our lesson about circles and lines and....well, I admit that I hardly paid attention. I was too busy thinking about the void that we will all feel in a short while. The rest of the day flew by in a flash. I picked up little bits and pieces of our lessons, but nothing stuck. I kept thinking how can these people laugh and joke when a poor, innocent child recently passed. The school was.....somber....to say the least. The girls who were friends with her put on a happy face, but I could see the pain behind them. The yearning to just stand on a desk and scream, "WHY? WHY BERNADETTE?!" I could see this because I felt this way, too. I guess you could say that the only glimpse of happiness I experienced today was when a boy I might like said hi to me. Yes, a boy saying hi to me was the highlight of my day. But hey, we've all been there. Today was just the start of the many painful days to come. But, there is one thing we can all be happy about. Bernadette Spranzman is no longer in pain. I know this because she is in the arms of the Lord. :)

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

About four months ago you reviewed a poem of mine entitled Tears for Naomi which I wrote for Naomi Rolon who was brutally raped, tortured, stuffed in a trunk, ran over with her own car, stabbed and at last had her head nearly severed at the neck by a blow from a hatchet. She had just turned sixteen years old and got her driver's license. She was on her way to visit her dad in the hospital, he was dying of lung cancer, when she was kidnapped by two escaped inmates from a nearby minimum security facility. She was a sweet, shy and sensitive girl and I used to hold her hand as we walked to class, a kiss or two and then summer. When I returned to school that fall, everyone looked at me strangely, knowing we were close. I still love Naomi and death can not kill my love, it has only parted our physical bodies. That tradgedy happened in 1975, over 33 years ago. Both her murderers are dead after spending more years on death row than she walked upon the earth. Time has not changed what I feel. There is no relief from the pain. But perhaps in death, I will see her smiling face again, I can only hope. But I know she would wish me to live my life and continue to try to be happy...she was always thinking of others first. There is no good way to die, except maybe in your sleep. But there is no justice in a life cut short by a thief, a robber of life, be it evil men or an evil disease. I truly hope you find some way to remember the best of this young girl and her beautiful spirit as I remember Naomi.

[Frank F. Atanacio]

well written and formualted story-- had a good flow and that's improtant to keep readers attached, you did your job. well penned

[RaindropsRoses93]

again thank you for that hug. I was trying to play it off as if I was ok but on the inside I was loosing it. Just you being there with me helped me more than you can imagine. Again I think she would love these words. But keep in mind she would want you to be happy. We both know she is in heaven and because you told me that I have gotten through it. Love you girl!!!

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This is the third piece of writing by you to your friend.
I'm really very sorry for your loss and I can understand how does it feel.
I have been there....
If you ever have some time, you could read the writing "24th of December" by me.
And trust me it will take some time to heal this wound.

Great piece of writing indeed!

[Samuel Dickens]

Healing for this kind of hurt will be slow. It will take time before you will see the seat she used to sit in and not miss her. You're feeling a lot of pain right now because your heart is bigger and more senstive than some. Ignore those who might say cruel things or make light of her passing--they will be dealt with in time.