My Castle Walls

About my own personal struggle with letting people in emotionally

I’m trapped in a castle

Of my own creation

Spent half of my life

On its fortification

All vulnerable fences

Armed with defenses

Allow no one safe passage

All retreat to their stations

 

I let no one in

I’m not even sure why

When all that I want

Is a shoulder to cry on

I want them to know me

But I shut them all out

I want them to show me

What freedom’s about

 

But I am not free

For this wall I’ve created

Keeps me from loving

All time spent is wasted

Oh, why did you love me?

As I built up more distance

It hurts less to give up

But still you persisted

 

I used to be the one

Who brought people together

But love never lasts

No friends are forever

Why should I keep up

With this futile effort

That trapped me in this cycle

This unending endeavor:

 

Love never lasts

So protect from the pain

Don’t let them in

So they don’t love you in vain

To get rid of the pain

You must open your doors

To let them help heal you

A new tearing hurt pours

Don’t be vulnerable

Maintain control

If you show your affection

They’ve got strings to pull

If you let yourself love

The more pain you will feel

In time, it’s all temporary

Why make wounds you can’t heal?

 

 

I understand now

Though it’s not easy to do

I must love who I am

And to let people through

I must tear down those walls

Brick by brick, deconstruct

To be secure in myself

Then build myself back up.

Reviews

[Inject Positivity]

clappings for the message you have conveyed here... i can fully relate to it... to be honest this is one of those rare piece of writing which i can fully relate to my life....its hard to love after being broken apart... we fear to love in the thought that someone again will break our heart...

The whole thought of the poem is very true and sounding and as a reader i can truly find myself in the feelings of this poem... it flows well too... simple yet very catchy write....

The ending was inspirational as it says about some important life lessons... self love is very important to get love or in giving love...the less you love yourself the more your heart will be vulnerable to others... excellent piece of work.... clappings!!! full ratings....

[Luuucy]

Thank you so much!! I'm glad it resonated with you so much. This has been my personal struggle and I'm still working on the last part... It's inspiring to see that, though the struggle is different for everyone, a lot of people are going though it in their own way.

[Inject Positivity]

well we are all connected in some way... the emotional drops of this poem says so much about how most us struggle in different types of relationships in our life... it was truly a wonderful piece of thought provoking poetry....

[Luuucy]

Well, thank you again

[Inject Positivity]

you are wholeheartedly welcome dear poetess....

[Curtis.Lenker]

Wow. This poem is amazing. I know the struggle of letting people in. I know how it feels to build a wall and try to tear it down to let someone in and then they totally abuse your heart. So you have to build that wall back up again. Great way to sum up how this feels. I love this poem. The emotion is intense. I love it. Keep up the great work and I will be reading more of your poems very soon.

[Luuucy]

Thank you so much, this means a lot. This was the first time I put all these thought in one place and it was emotional to write it, so I'm glad it touched you in such a way.
I will definitely return the favor and read your work too!

[Curtis.Lenker]

Thank you. Keep up the good work.