Mistakes
By: Kenneth Compton
It was nearing the anniversary of the day I enlisted into the United States Navy: July fifth. As such, my parents were throwing a huge party which was in conjunction with the fourth of July, many of my friends and friends of my parents were invited to this party. It was going to be a great day, so naturally, I had to boch all that up as best I could. I was engaged to a girl back in California at the time, who later became my ex-wife. She had joined me for the first half of the trip but had gone home to go back to work before the party. We did not part well, my stubbornness and flirting with old flames really set her off. She was nice enough though not to cause any scenes in public. She was always the rational one.
Just two days after she left I went out with an old crush named Michelle. Keep in mind that this was all right after the 9/11 fiasco. After realizing that being a sailor my life was constantly in jeopardy, Michelle then decides to convey to me that she is in love with me. Of course, good old friend and compassionate soul I am, I use this to my advantage, I also do not tell her of my engagement. Before you go and draw conclusions know that I did not sleep with her, I did things much worse than that. I played with her emotions, I kissed her as only lovers are supposed to kiss, and I gave her false hope after false hope that there might be a chance between us. Halfway through the day, it seemed that even someone as cold, callous and monstrous as me couldn't keep up this for any longer, and I told her of my engagement to another. Surprisingly, she took it rather well, not even really angry or hurt, she accepted it, and my apology, even agreed to come to the big party later on that week.
I left her around three in the afternoon that day, and immediately went over to Mindy's house. Now Mindy, who I had known for years as well, was one of the sweetest girls I had ever met, a flaw I was about to exploit. See Mindy also had a crush on me (lucky me, I know) and I did just about the exact same thing to her when we went to a bar together to drink and play pool. When I broke the news to her she was also extremely pliant and raised no fuss. She also agreed to come to the party. Here's where things get interesting.
If you haven't made the connection yet, I'll help you out, this is the genius of my self destruction and expert ability to harm those around me. I have just invited two women who adore me to a party, after tantalizing them and doing all sorts of irreputable things with them in the same day. They were going to be at the party and they were going to talk, since they were friends of a sort. Now I could say that I didn't expect what happened next to happen, but that would be a lie. I'm a monster, I know exactly what's going to happen, and on that day I prepared for it in the best way I knew how. I got s**t-faced drunk by drinking an entire fifth of Captain Morgan. Surprisingly it took atleast 3 hours into the party before they approached me while I was in the kitchen making myself another drink. I could see it in their eyes, the hurt, the pain, the rejection, all directed at me, cursing the very womb that spat me out into this world.
"We need to talk to you," Michelle had said, fire rising in her throat, threatening to spill out into her every word.
"Let me finish making my drink first," I had said, acting oblivious and slurring my words, for I was more than just a little drunk.
"No, we need to talk right now Kenneth," this was Mindy talking. Even thought I expected it, I was still quite shocked to hear anger come out of her, the kind of shock you'd feel to find out Mother Teresa was a prostitute. I ignored their pleas for another minute as they stalked to the bedroom and I finished making my drink. I joined them in the bedroom, and of course, things went to s**t.
Now I must warn you, this was years and years ago, and I was reaching the black out stage of drunkenness at this point, so what was said was rather vague. I remember them asking how I could have done this, why I had done it to both of them, on the same day, and yadda yadda. I know what I did was unconsciounable but I came up with some pretty good on the fly excuses (which now I think were pretty lame, but I was drunk and didn't know my a*s from a gloryhole at the time. After what seemed a short amount of time to my broken memory, the fight was over, and Michelle went home, where as Mindy stayed, and god bless her, forgave me that same day. Michelle was not so forgiving, it took six months before she would even speak to me again, and then it took another six to heal the hurt I had done to our friendship.
I know I don't deserve the forgiveness, and frankly, I didn't truly care whether I was forgiven or not, such is the mind of a user. They are great friends, though I am quite sure that half the reason they forgave me atleast is because they, deep down, still want very badly to be with me (my ego knows no bounds). My advice to you ladies out there is this. If you have a friend, who is charming, smart, funny, and seems to be there whenever you need him, stay the f**k away from him. He's a wolf who pretends at being a rabbit, and will devour you at the first sign of weakness. I know, because I am that wolf, and don't make the mistake of thinking there's only one person out there that's this bad, and it's me. Wolves aren't solitary hunters, ladies. Wolves hunt in packs.
Just Desserts
Throughout my highschool career I was the guy friend. The guy girls would go to when their jock a*****e boyfriends would dump them or say something mean. Like a masochistic fool, everytime, I thought "Finally, this is my chance." and then the fickle girl would go back to the a*****e boyfriend and leave me alone in the dark, with yet another scar on my heart. It's no wonder then, that I turned into a predator, I wouldn't be as egotistical as to say a new breed of predator, but definitely not your usual carnivore. It took years of emotional torture, pain, and anger to get me there. It also took enlisting in the military, seeing war, and knowing that in this world there is but one axiom: Hunt, or be hunted. People are chickens, there's a pecking order established in every situation, and if you don't claw your a*s to the top, you best be prepared to get trampled on and used like the drunk chick at a party.
It was nearing the fourth of july, and with it, my two year anniversary in the Navy. I was home for leave, and my parents had a huge party planned in my honor. My fiance, in her nagging way, had been very angry about my relationships with my female friends from highschool. So what if I called them "darlin'" and told them I loved them, I did, in my own fashion, they were my friends, what difference did it make what gender they were? My fiance could not stay for the party, she had work to get back to so she left early. She had called me later on that week and around the same time I got a call from Michelle, a girl I had had a crush on for all my highschool days. My fiance was a pretty jealous person, and was very mad that I continued to talk to her, and even planned on going to hang out with her later on that week. I remember well what she had said to me.
"Why can't you just tell her no," she had asked, fire in her words.
"Because she's my friend and I don't see the harm in hanging out with her," I countered.
"She told you she's in love with you, that's why you can't hang out with her. God, why do you have to be such a p***y?"
I looked at the phone, shocked and a little more than upset. Needless to say I hung up on her. Nobody says that to me, not anymore. So I came up with a plan, a plan to get back at every woman who had done me wrong in my lifetime. I also planned a little vengeance on my fiance, Brannon. I thought about sleeping with Michelle, but then I realized that would only make Brannon right, so I decided that I would sleep with Kat, who had had a crush on me since highschool and was one of the biggest teases, other than Michelle, that I knew. It wasn't hard, barely even a challenge to get her into bed. I did so, and phase one of the plan was complete.
Next I went to hang out with Michelle. I played on her feelings for me while the whole time, running through the back of my mind, was everytime she'd teased me, made me believe one thing then go and dash that by dating another man. I would have my revenge. She ate up everything I said as if it were candy made from angel farts. It was a matter of minutes before she had her tongue down my throat. Now no plan is a good plan that doesn't leave room for improvisation, so I told her about being engaged, which I had left out until this point. I spun it in such a light that there was no way she could fault me for anything done that day, and of course she did not. I invited her to the party my parents were throwing and she gladly accepted. Claiming that I had things that needed taking care of, I dropped her off and headed over to a girl named Mindy's house.
Mindy, bless her ignorance, had never done one thing wrong to me, and had been a great friend. She was, however, bland in a way that can only be described in epic terms. Everything she said lacked feeling, she claimed to love Godsmack the way a geology professor explains igneous rock formations. Listening to anything she says is painful in a way that would break the most malicious of demons who, as a fun torture, make you suck their glass embedded c**k and spew semen made of fire ants into your face and mouth. Still, I endured, and knowing her feelings for me, I played on them, did just about exactly the same thing I did to Michelle, and invited her to my party as well. My end of the plan was complete. I only had to watch the pieces fall where they may.
The fourth of july came, and I was getting hammered the way only a sailor could. It wasn't long before everyone showed and things went down. Michelle and Mindy talked and found out about each other. Kat, in her arrogance and idiocy boasted about sleeping with me, which, to my surprise nobody believed her since I was engaged. "I mean, he's a great guy, he wouldn't cheat on his fiance." (Ha!)
I was confronted by Michelle and Mindy in my bedroom, and because of my drunken stupor I can't tell you what was said. I do remember the hurt they felt, the rejection, the anger. They finally knew what it was like to be me. To be tricked, teased, and lied to. They finally felt the pain I felt everyday of being Michelle's friend, being her shoulder to cry on, and being rejected for the next piece of man-meat in line. You don't endure four years of that and not come away transformed. Much like Dr. Frankenstein, they had created a monster, and that monster turned on it's creator and used every last bit of wit and guile to destroy it's creators.
With justice served, and pain redelivered in a suitable manner, I could slough off the weight of my pain, my anger, like a snake shedding it's skin, or like a worm morphing into a butterfly. I could begin to heal, I could feel again for my fellow man. I was reborn.
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