Without Words

A work in progress. I don't feel it's quite polished enough, not conveying the emotion to the extent that I would like. Feel free to offer opinions on how this might be achieved.

 

Without words, without pretense

You exclaim your affections

A simple squeeze of my hand,

A fervent kiss of my neck,

A subtle silent scream of contentment is uttered

In those little moments

You who would be ice to those that seek you

You who would claim no affection for another

Are nothing but warmth and want beside me

Doing all you can to stem the tide

That threatens to swell up and drown you

In your feelings for me

 

I know this, and I smile

For ice is what I was, before you

A shallow shell, little more than brittle shale

You break down the walls inside me

Laying siege to the fortress of my soul

With a simple squeeze of my hand

A fervent kiss of my neck

With these a subtle, silent scream of contentment is uttered

In those little moments

I fall farther from safety and solitude

And closer to you

Without words, without pretense

For Racheal

Reviews

[Jack...]

Personally I like it the way it is, it does speak of a raw emotion that one is fighting to contain, but cannot because they are no match for the way this person makes them feel.

[Kenneth Compton]

Thank you Jack, I wrote this raw, without forthought to the words I was putting down, sort of just going with the first thing that comes to mind. Sometimes it works and most times I tweak from there, but I will consider leaving it in its unvarnished state :)