Bang

Bang

A Poem by LunalitSol
"

The Gun says Bang. Life says Checkmate.

"

       Bang   by LunalitSol



Sunshine sears your fingertips,          (A)

Blue Moon glistening overhead,            (B)

Words pass into the night, shiver into nonexistence on fumbling lips.        (A)

The chord is evanesced, a clean cut.     (C)

 

The clock turns in every eye,     (A)

Their glances tick, a spreading burn,    (B)

Each second eyes grow, stares sizzling flesh like lye.   (A)

You feel diseased, covered in grime. You want it off...      (C)

 

Lye, you scrub, turning pale crimson, wan- flame.     (A)

Monsters crow in your head, bang at your ears-  you barely notice the blood.   (B)

Fingers ghost over, ever, and you steadily disintegrate in the furnace of your shame;    (A)

Ashes pass through the air, fly far away.    (C)

 

String Theory, Broken Particles that spin into nothing, untwine from all.    (A)

You are pieced back together atom by atom.    (B)

Porcelain is easily cracked, and there you are you frail china doll,     (A)

Shattered across the floor.     (C)

 

Cobwebs infiltrate every sob, clinging malevolently to a lolling tongue.    (A)

The dust is a fine layer on your shards, suppressing their gleam.     (B)

A child creeps the stairs of a basement, hesitating at the final rung;     (A)

This mess needs more than super glue or duct tape or a kiss on the booboo, Spiderman-Band-Aid-please-and-thank-you-mommy.    (C)

 

Your time is running out, almost up. The sand’s near gone.     (A)

You’re going to die in this dark.     (B)

And there they are, those figures, them.     (C)

Your ghosts are all over you, a gun to your head.     (D)

 

Escape is fruitless     (A)

There are too many shards     (B)

Life exists in this nothing, at home in the dark      (B)

The mind is a funny thing     (C)

 

It’s called devolution.

You lose pattern, break routine

All Rhyme is lost as the Dawn sweeps you away with all the other bodies and Broken Pieces.

It’s a chess game and you’ll never be the one to say checkmate.

Want proof?

 

The Gun speaks.

Bang.

© 2011 LunalitSol


Author's Note

LunalitSol
Yes, the letter notations were left there intentionally. If you don't know why, then you should reread. :P Also, the gun could be an actual gun, or a symbolical one. It can also be both. Just sayin'. :)

My Review

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Featured Review

I would argue that the last lettered stanza is also ABCD because "dark" and "shards" are an arguable loose rhyme at best. But don't let that seem as a slight, because the piece was fantastic. I think you could have given it a bit more solid meter, but the direction is stunning. You don't force rhyme and you maintain a pretty good flow. I like the descent out of control at the end, it kind of brings about a cataclysmic finality to the work. The use of the word "chord" at the beginning maybe intentional, not sure, but that's the musical kind, the word "cord" is the piece of string that you seem to make metaphorical reference to. But really these are just small little aesthetic minutiae which do not detract from the piece at all. You've got a knack for description beyond the normal and conventional means which is absolutely superb.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I would argue that the last lettered stanza is also ABCD because "dark" and "shards" are an arguable loose rhyme at best. But don't let that seem as a slight, because the piece was fantastic. I think you could have given it a bit more solid meter, but the direction is stunning. You don't force rhyme and you maintain a pretty good flow. I like the descent out of control at the end, it kind of brings about a cataclysmic finality to the work. The use of the word "chord" at the beginning maybe intentional, not sure, but that's the musical kind, the word "cord" is the piece of string that you seem to make metaphorical reference to. But really these are just small little aesthetic minutiae which do not detract from the piece at all. You've got a knack for description beyond the normal and conventional means which is absolutely superb.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on February 4, 2011
Last Updated on February 5, 2011
Tags: Life, Death, Suicide, Darkness, Struggle, angst, hate, hurt, chess, gun, mind, devolution, pattern, mold, breaking, changing, touch, rape, molestation, abuse, challenge

Author

LunalitSol
LunalitSol

IA



About
Now a twenty-something mom, wife, employee, and student- still chasing that same dream. Still a writer from the inside out. more..

Writing