night market

i

 

smoke curls through my head
like pick-pockets
slither through the souq

bells jangle, drivers shout

    balak! balak!

their donkey carts clatter
herky-jerky
down tight allies

hordes of children
scrap and scavenge

merchants hawk, tourists haggle
in wild living mosaics

 

ii

 

i think of michener's drifters,
questing for meaning,
enlightenment

or just a good buzz

i hum childe 84

and like gretchen,
think of india

like barbara,
hear knell of death

 

iii

cacophony becomes
a tin flute trance
of darbukah rhythms

as midnight
opens
to interior gardens

coarse silk, pungent ginger

patchouli wings
fly
into an open arch,

an invitation

to deep moroccan red

 

 

Author's Note

critique, suggestions welcome

Childe 84...old english ballad Barbara Allen, one of the ballads collected by Childe
Gretchen...one of the charecters in the novel The Drifters, by James Michener...she sings the childe ballads in thestory

Reviews

[Fire Mage Andrea]

Great stuff. You paint quite a colourful, vivid picture here.
I like the last verse the best.
Like where it has negativity versus positivity.

[Tony]

This is a great poem.
Colorful and noisy without confusion. Exactly like the place it describes.
Reminds me of Hermosillo on an October evening. Only with a different language.

[Freder Fredersen (aka G..]

Loved this read!

Cheers!
FF

[Gandré]

The third stanza was my favorite. Imaginative wonderful poetry.

[Arthur Crow]

A facinating read filled with amazing and wild descriptions.. You have a unique talent for expression!
Thanks for the journey.

[Sabine]

oh, wow, I love the folk ballads, and your writing is provoking thought. Sweet, Sabine

[Ed Hart]

this is the stuff! first rate...take us with you wherever you go...hold us to your lines, you picture-perfect phrases...

[DavidRyan]

You're my favorite writer. Because you're exactly like me : always looking for critique, someone to find something wrong with what you've written. The only difference between me and you is you seem to never make a mistake. Always weaving a poem or story that takes the reader on a weightless journey where they can completely escape into the world you have created. I like your use of other writing in your own, making it your own. Very well done. Some day, I will find a need for a correction. But, until then, I will continue to be impressed with your writing.

[C. Harter Amos]

This was fascinating and a pleasure to read. Though I haven't read Michener in decades, you've given me a taste of why I liked him, and a reason to think I'll go back and read him again. Love the poem. Talent shines!

[Emily B]

You took me there. Out of these hills. Away from the bluegrass. You took me there.

It flowed. And flowed well. The cadence was foreign and a little exotic but I felt the rhythm of the place. I can't see anything, any little thing, that should be changed.