god bless patsy cline

It's not a tribute poem.

midnight walks through southern gardens
fill me with a particular wildness

 

born of full bloom white rose
and bloody thorn

 

cloying scent of gardenias
hang in humid air

 

i am luminous

 

on an altar of cool marble bench
exorcised of convention, false morality

 

arc of body drawn moonward
with hands immersed in gushing fountain
praying out loud

 

oh, god..oh god

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Seeking constructive critque. All comment and suggestions considered and appreciated.

Reviews

[holly]

You select such sensual images - appealing to sight, smell, touch - that most women will be wandering that garden with you. What a pleasure to read! One question only -did you intend to introduce the note of danger that hangs on the "bloody thorn"? It was the only image that brought me out of the garden. I thought maybe you intended to suggest that what this woman was feeling was dangerous to her - to others.
Thanks for letting us read this.

[Tony]

I wonder if she really felt that free?
Or, as the viewer above mentioned, does the thorn represent danger?
I rather think so. Correct us if we are wrong.
Was she a tortured angel with tarnished wings, or was she southern Baptist?
Great Poem.

[Celtic Cat]

oh god oh god is right! This piece is wonderful. Again, can't help with any suggestions or critique, but definitely have to say these words o' yours moved me. Such a powerful emotion behind your writes. I look forward to reading more. Very, very good writing. When a piece removes me from my physical location and brings me far away... yeah, that's great writing there!!! Thanks... I did need a movement. : )

[Fabian G. Franklin]

" out in the moonlight, just like we used to do...I go out walking after midnight searching for you"

Those cool marble benches have been exorcised with the holy water of lover's sweat and tears I think. A cool edgy piece from a country perspective. Thomas Wolfe would be proud of you so I am too.

[Lady leah]

Very nicely penned, great write.

[W.k.kortas]

Not a tribute poem, certainly...but a well-conceived and well-executed look at the woman's public persona as the standard, he-done-me-wrong Southern woman (cf. "cloying scent of gardenias") and the woman she actually was ("exorcised of convention, false morality"). A virtuoso piece of writing.

[Emily B]

As a young girl, I hero-worshipped that voice. But she was more than that, as you've so eloquently written. We are set loose from a standard we didn't set because of her.

Each words seems particularly poised for its place. Nothing is out of place here.

[~Mariposa Una Lila~]

this is lovey, I have enjoyed your poem very much! hope you have a great day! x0