a question of circumstances of a suicide son

 

 

what would i have done
she wants to know, but

 

she doesn't care how i answer, as long as it's

    you did the right thing,
    i would have done the same, or

   

    you fucked up, you stupid b***h, but
    i would have done the same

   

    she wants company for her misery
    but it won't come from me,

 

maybe i should tell her

   

    there is no way, for me to know
    i didn't walk in your shoes
   

    i didn't feel the gush
    from between my thighs

   

    or clinch my jaw in agony
    nor feel it melt at first breath
    of new life,

   

    i didn't hold the babe to breast,
    counting fingers and toes with relief,

   

    and fear
    bubbling in my belly, wondering

   

    will i be a good mother
    can i nurture, provide

   

    will he love me

but all i say is

   

    what's done, is done

    all you can do is live
   

    and learn to forgive

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Seeking constructive critique. All comments and suggestions appreciated and considered.

Reviews

[Gathering_Stars]

" what's done, is done
all you can do is live
and learn to forgive"

this is a really hard concept for a lot of people to grasp, myself included. Although it shouldn't be that hard to forgive people, sometimes time just won't heal wounds and it leaves a person pretty bitter.

this is a great piece. we all wonder what's going to happen in the future, if our kids will love us after all the hell we put them through and if we can show love them that we still love them after all the hell they put us through.

[Voice]

This is a great poem very deep you are a very good writer. I loved the piece and it holds a lot of emotion and meaning�

Voice

[Ryan Heisel]

that was absolutely AMAZING

[Michael]

Free verse is such a subjective thing it is hard to critique in an objective voice. So subjectively speaking, it seems we have only half the story. I understand the "she" is the mother dealing with a lost son but who is the 'i' of the poem? Another child of the mother, a friend? Maybe a lover of the son's? I feel some anger, why? Why won't you comfort a grieving mother? It does make me feel for sure and is solid sound, just leaves me with some really big questions and wanting to know more.

[Pax Analog]

Well it seems your poem does answer the question of the tormented mother of a suicide son.

Plainly said, unerring, stays focused on living, forgiving, since all the rest is of no use to the reality.

As much a document of grief counsel as a poem, and even the perennial wisdom of NOW addressing the roil of mood-treading mind.

Sound work expressing the firm grace of truth.

[Lola Nation]

strange that without knowing you write so many of the moments only a mother could know, this poem is engaging and deeply sad - a nice write.