Born this Way

A Story by djl_2463

This was actually a free write I did on my own time describing my life through out school

“It doesn’t matter if you love him or capital H-I-M. Just put your paws up, cause you were born this way baby.” " Lady Gaga’s ‘Born This Way’.

Every time I hear this song I can’t resist the urge to sing my heart out. Lady Gaga is such an inspiring person who makes people feel good about themselves. When I first heard about Lady Gaga it was through her songs, ‘Bad Romance’ and ‘Just Dance’, but they didn’t stand out as much as her song ‘Born This Way’. Don’t worry, I’m not going to base this essay on Lady Gaga, just the three words she sing about, yes, Born This Way’. These are the three words that I now live by. These are the three words that got me hooked on Lady Gaga’s music. These three words are the reason this song sticks out to me the most.

“My mama told me when I was young. We are all born superstars.” " Lady Gaga

Ever since I was little I had a feeling that I was different from other kids but I didn’t know what it was that made me different. I went through elementary and middle school just fine, it was when I reached high school. That is when other people started to notice that I was different from them and they started to label me as “GAY”, that time I didn’t know what “GAY” meant until one day my friend Alexandra walked up to me and asked me if I was “GAY.” Confused, I looked at her and told her that I wasn’t, I then asked her what “GAY” Meant; she told me it means you like guys like you like girls. I assured her that I wasn’t “GAY.” My sophomore year people kept asking my friends and I if I was “GAY” and we all said no but that didn’t stop them from calling me names like “F****T” in the hallways. At the end of sophomore year my girlfriend at the time and I broke up and I was devastated, but yet again people would call me “GAY’ and “FAGOT” behind my back. But I still didn’t believe them until one day during my English class I started to talk to this one boy named Darien and I started to develop feeling for him , not a friend type feeling but I started to “crush” on him. That’s when I started to realize that I might be “GAY.”

“It doesn’t matter if you love him or capital H-I-M.”- Lady Gaga

My suspicions of me being “GAY” were correct as I figured out at the beginning of my junior year of high school. One day I was trying to get this guy named Drake to leave my friend Brina’s boyfriend alone and it worked. He started to flirt with me and even came down to the JV football game I was watching, after the game we walked over to the cat walk and he gave me my first kiss. Then a month later another boy came into the picture, his name is Marius, it first started at team night for the debate team. It started as a simple text message that lead to even more things; He was the first guy I did anything sexual with. After three more months another guy came into my life and his name is Leroy. I felt bad for Leroy because of his past with his family and he now lives with his aunt and uncle here in Nampa. This time it started with the word hello, he made me feel happy and secure about myself. We would send each other song lyrics by text messages until one day before our last performance for Columbia’s musical West Side Story Leroy broke my heart in a matter of seconds

“A different lover is not a sin believe capital H-I-M.” - Lady Gaga

You might be wondering why I brought up all these different guys, well it was because I’ve been hearing a lot of people in our community and in our school say that “GAY” people were all “S***S” and “EMOTIONLESS” people . Well the “EMOTIONLESS” part isn’t true whatsoever. You see the things that all three of these guys have in common is that they all have broken my heart and made me feel horrible about myself. They all have told me that they like me and that they care about me and such, but it was all a lie. Lucky for me though one of them has moved to Boise, but the other two still remain here in Nampa attending this very high school. I still see them both every day and it is worse for me because one of them is in a class with me. Sometimes when I glance or stare at him in class I still tend to wonder what could have been and if he truly cared for me but he knows I’m hurting from his manipulation because one Friday during a varsity football game I told him how I felt and that I was done with him but to be honest it was the wrong thing to do.

“No matter gay, straight, or bi, transgendered life, I’m on the right track baby I was born to survive.”- Lady Gaga

Over the months of my junior and now my senior year I’ve learned more about myself and that of the LGBT community. Also thanks to my friends and to Lady Gaga I’ve accepted myself who I am more and more each day I wake-up from my sleep. I’ve even told my parents and one of my coaches and they are totally okay with it. Now I don’t care what or how other people think of me because I know who I am but I guess I wouldn’t be here or have the closer I needed with myself if it wasn’t for the bad experiences with those three guys . I still get talked about behind my back and don’t get me wrong I do struggle everyday with my secret but I’m glad to have my friends help me come out every day. Now I’m starting not to care what other people call me because I know what and who I am. I also tell people that I was BORN THIS WAY!

“Don’t yourself in regret. Just love yourself and you’re set. I’m on the right track, baby, I was born this way, yeah.” " Lady Gaga