Chapter 2- Dar'Khan Drathir

Uylena foolishly decides to take on an undead lich by herself and learns the dangers of traveling alone.

One more year passed as Uylena continued growing and her skills becoming stronger. She was a well-rounded paladin and wouldn't hesitate to take down any foe. She sometimes talked to this other paladin, by the name of Deadlyrush. She didn't know him too well he was hardly around and she didn't bother to ask why. Most paladins were taught not to meddle in the affairs of others. She would stop to chat with him once and a while when she went to sharpen her skills and her weapons at her Paladin trainer in Silvermoon City.

"Hey Deadlyrush! How's it been lately?" Uylena smiled re-strapping her boots. "Same old story, Fighting scourge, spilling blood, and being bored out of my mind." Uylena and Deadly shared a few laughs and stories of their adventures and would, like every other time, part ways.

"I do wonder where he always is...oh well.."

Uylena pulled a letter of of her bag. At the top of the list she was asked to dispatch Luzran and Knucklerot. "Easy enough, those guys are pathetic." The next bunch were useless tasks that required her to collect stupid crap for the rangers and other blood knights. "Seriously! Give me something good already!" At the bottom of the list written in the letter something caught her eye. "Oooh that looks tough. " Written in parenthesis it said. "Make sure to bring at least 2 other officers with you.' She scoffed, "Yeah right I always do solo work thank you very much. Maybe they're just trying to scare me or that's it it's a challenge. Well I'm not backing down. Count on me to take him down." She looked at the name beside the task. "Dispatch the traitor Dar'Khan Drathir' Uylena smirked. "You will perish Dar'Khan!" And she headed off to Deatholme to complete a task way bigger than she was.

She hopped on her Thalassian Charger and rode to Dar'khan's lair, After killing all the apparitions and nerubians around the Tower of the Darhan was hiding she cautiously entered rounding corners her axe prepared to strike any hostiles. She took out a few more scourge and apparitions on the way to the basement floor. She peered into the final doorway. Dar'khan stood in the center his back turned concentrating on something she considering attacking him when he was distracted but she then noticed two sentries on either side of him. They'd surely spot her if she didn't do something. She put a powerful spell of might on herself and waited to strike.

"3..2..1...go!" She rushed in and grabbed the two sentries and took them out without breaking a sweat. "That was so easy." She smiled turning to see Dar'khan not there. "What? Did he run away? Ha! What a scaredy cat." Suddenly Dar'khan appeared from behind where Uylena was standing and stabbed her through the chest. "What?!" She started coughing and fell to the ground. He circled around her. "You're pathetic paladin. You thought you'd come here alone? Do you know how many of your precious blood knights I've killed? What you fight for is futile. Join me. Join my blessed lord Arthas and you will not have to die here paladin." Uylena spat on him and tried using her judgement spells on him while still on the ground. But it missed.

"W-what?? Why don't my attacks work." Dar'khan laughed. "You can't fight me like this paladin. Maybe you should listen more carefully to your teachers without a specific orb my powers are too strong for you alone to kill me, dear." Uylena was so pissed off. How could she let this happen. Why didn't she ask for assistance. She turned trying to crawl away. "Where do you think you're going my love?" Dar'khan caught her by the leg and pulled her back across the floor, causing her to cough up blood. He picked her up and dropped her on a nearby stone table of some sort. He strapped her to it and took her armor and tossed it aside. "What are you going to do. you sick b*****d?!" Dar'khan grinned and went over to grab something.

Uylena started screaming. "Someone! Help me please!!!! He's going to kill me!!" "Shut up you insolent wench!" Dar'khan returned and gagged her with a piece of cloth tying it behind her head. "Now you stay here and I'll be back in a bit. Don't try to run off now or the scourge will be drawn to your blood. And don't think you have the strength to get away from them now." He laughed and left the room.

Back in Silvermoon City, two blood knights were waiting around for some orders by their superiors.

A young looking commander approached the two Paladins. "Alexandros and Deadlyrush, sorry for making you two wait." Deadlyrush nodded as Alexandros spoke. "It's fine Commander but what did you need us for?" The commander looked a bit distraught, "Well, recently one of our best blood knights in another regiment went missing a couple days ago. She was supposed to be training in the Ghostlands. We fear she may have gotten ahead of herself and went after Dar'khan. I'm hoping that isn't the case but if it is she is in danger. As much as I wish to scold her for being so impatient and careless, I value her being alive so you two are being sent on recon. Please find and return with Uylena." Deadly's eyes widened remembering the random chats he had had with a specific female blood knight.

"How's it going Deadly?" Remembering the smile she flashed him.

"Deadly. DEADLY! Hellooo! are you paying attention lets get going." Alex was yelling trying to snap Deadly out of his daze.

They headed off to Deatholme taking out the few scourge that stood in their path. As they arrived at the Tower of the Damned, they tore through it wiping out any strays. And proceeding to the basement floor where Uylena was being held captive. When they got there they could here muffled cries and another slightly deeper voice. "Don't worry, dear It'll all be over soon." He had something in his right hand that was not visible, maybe a pill or capsule of some sort and a dagger in his left." As he tried to shove the mysterious object in her mouth and rose his arm to stab her in her chest. Deadly used the mystic orb to silence Dar'khan's power as Alexandros lunged towards him knocking him to the ground  preventing him from harming Uylena.

"Ahh, what's this? Your friends have come to die with you. I shall be only too happy to oblige them..." He regained his composure knocking Alex back across the room. "You were too late even before you arrived, my foolish friend. The spell is well under way. You cannot stop it."

"Dar'khan! You will die here and no other blood knights will die at your hands or anyone else's for that matter!" Dar'khan laughed uncontrollably. You can't defeat me--" He tried summoning magic to attack Alex with. "W-what?!" He glanced toward the orb in Deadly's hand. "You fools! You're magic won't save you!" Alexandros glared at Dar'khan. "Just shut up and dieeee!" Alexandros swung his sword towards Dar'khan taking off his head. Dar'khan's body fell to the floor in a lump and eventually disappeared.

Alexandros walked over taking the cloth out of Uylena's mouth and freeing her from her bonds.

She looked at Deadlyrush for a split second unable to even force a smile. She looked back at Alex. Crying, she stumbled to stand as he held her by her shoulders making sure she didn't fall. She fell forwards and hugged him.

"T-thank you...thank you.." She whimpered sobbing uncontrollably.  

Deadlyrush, Alexandros, and Uylena returned to Silvermoon City. She needed medical attention so he took her to the closest Inn to the city gates and waited by her side.

Reviews

[Sir Aphid]

"One more year passed as Uylena continued growing and her skills became stronger."

"She didn't know him too well.* He was hardly around and she didn't bother to ask why."

"She would stop to chat with him once and a while when she went to sharpen her skills and her weapons at her Paladin trainer in Silvermoon City." - Run on sentence. Up to you how to fix it.

Also, you need to start a new paragraph every time a new character is speaking. If you put multiple character's dialogue in one paragraph it gets confusing really fast, and it's hard to tell who is talking.

I won't go everything because I don't have time, but your biggest issue seems to be paragraphs and run-on sentences. A good way to tell if your sentence is too long is to say it out loud and see if you can do it without running out of breath. If you can't, then it's too long and you need to break it up with commas, or make two separate sentences.

One more thing, (I don't mean to be nitpicky! just trying to help!), you still need to use proper grammar when writing dialogue! I'll admit, your dialogue is very natural and unique to each character, but you have the same problem with run-on sentences as well as a few punctuation errors.

As for the story itself, I'm definitely interested. Uylena seems like a headstrong, self-assured girl with a soft heart. I can see her personality getting her into lots of trouble, but she's lucky to have good friends like Deadlyrush and Alexandros.

I sense something off about the commander, though. He seems more concerned with his own plans for Ulyena than her well-being. Her father and teacher seemed much the same way. Perhaps they have a different destiny planned for her than she has for herself.

Look forward to reading the rest.