Intoxicated Love

a poem about a first encounter.

 

Her golden hair

                     Smells of cinnamon.

                          I am transfixed by her soft skin.

 

She holds my hand.

                      Our fingers connect like

                     jigsaw pieces.

 

She whispers into my left ear,

her lime blossom perfume glides up my nose.

 

The crowded bar that we are in suddenly

                                   burst into green flames. I see and hear

                                                               No one apart the women sitting in front of me.

 

I am inside a vacuum of a green haze,

                                            Surrounded by the aromas

                              Of lime blossom, cinnamon

                                              

   and the sweet pungent feminine smell    

                                                        Of a woman.

 ©LukeRitta

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really like "fingers connect like jigsaw puzzles"

that is wonderful...i like the entire mood of this piece...and there is such a beautiful truth in a first meeting with someone like this...the rest of the world just gets shut out...and she is the only thing we see, hear, feel...that is it.

nice scenario painted here...

jacob

[Lovely Lady]

Sweet. I enjoyed this simple yet loving description of my own gender!
~lovely♥lady~

[Leslie Philibert]

A fine piece of writing, like the compact, powerful imagery, and the way you break up the phrases, and the unexpected and original language you use. Good work.

[TheSweet]

Like the in depth focus on the single sense. Smell is always a difficult thing to portray but I have no faults with how you've done it here at all. Thanks for sharing :)

[Shane Blackheart]

Wonderful descriptions, you give the reader a very vivid idea of how enveloped you are by this woman's scent, and by her alone. Great poem!

[Liana]

I like the the powerful last line. Nice

[Judas Hammer]

Very nice, i could smell her from here. nice work

[Rasputin]

This poem actually makes your senses pick up and take notice, which is rare. Great job.

[Aarontastic]

I like this :) it's a bit different from the stuff of yours that I have read before; more of a conventional poem. You deal with the imagery really well, and especially focus on the sense of smell, which makes sense because scents can be the most intoxicating thing of all. I very much liked the line about fingers connecting 'like jigsaw pieces', that is the perfect way to describe it; I also enjoyed the asymmetric visual structure of the poem, which to me resembles a hazy kind of scent filling up a room. In this case, I really can't understate how important adding that element was to the poem, because I feel like it combines with it so well that it compensates (or compliments) the simplicity of the poem. Nice job

[Kat]

I quite enjoyed this. Nice description. This is the kind of first encounter that sticks with one for a good while.

[Alicia Schroeder]

Captivating woman, you've written of.. Great write :)