6 Million lost souls and 60 happy teenagers

a poem about my time in Berlin.

I am writing this poem 

                        with an ordinary pen.

Black ink runs down to the tip of the writing tool.

                                   blood shoots to the tips of my fingers.

The pen and my right hand amalgamate into each other.

                                           we are united, we are one, we are a living organism.

                    One brain.....one pen.....one piece of paper.....

                      one poem.

I am looking at the youth of Berlin!

groups of teenagers are running through the holocaust memorial. They are playing tag, laughing, screaming with joy.....67 years before, 6 million screamed also....but that time it was not with joy, but with anguish .

         

The pen and my right hand amalgamate into each other.

                                           we are united, we are one, we are a living organism.

 ©LukeRitta

Reviews

[Enigma]

Interesting. I somehow like the abrupt shift in the scene. It is like gazing at the paper and contemplating and then raising your eyes up to gaze at the teenagers and look back at the past. Then transporting back to the present -to the teenagers, and your pen. Well penned. :)

[Allie]

Interesting and slightly random...I like it :)

[EMMIE]

I love the tittle! Awesome, creative, very unique, and well composed.

[Kiari Sabon]

i really liked the work, it makes you jump from image 2 image

[Luke Ritta]

to Leslie Philibert: I think you have misunderstood my poem....I am talking about the youth of society, (not just German youth)...and how they do not respect history, if it is WW2 or the Napoleonic wars it dose not matter....the youth I saw at the memorial was mixed from all over the world....hope this helps.

[Leslie Philibert]

As someone who has spent most of my life in Germany and has
two German sons,I feel I have to comment on this. I don`t believe in collective guilt,and I don`t believe in inherited guilt.The Germans have had for many years a stable and democratic system, they have an army that can can only be employed by asking for permission in the Bundestag, a parliamentary army.Historians agree that the root of the Second World War lied in the crippling conditions imposed after the first World War and the break-up of Austro-Hungaria.And when it comes to imperialism, then I think we Brits shoud keep pretty quiet.
So let the young Germans enjoy guilt free their Berlin, don`t unbury all these old cliches and prejudices, things have changed, the guilt lies in the past, and not the future .

[Manda]

Hmm...I really like how you described your connection with the pen, but I have to agree with Tammy. It seems like that break really served more as an abrupt stop than you meant, so much so to the point that I really throws off the simply delightful telling of your pen from earlier. Personally, I think that break could work better as a whole new poem all together, and if you used your powerful words( the same you used to convey the connection earlier), then that would be one amazing poem.

[.....]

For me there was no flow in the lines, they felt stilted and the use of ellipse don't make sense, you might have chosen to use hyphens or commas instead it would have made more sense. I realize you were trying to show the contrast between the past and the present, how horror and tragedy occupied that scene 67 years ago and today carefree laughter and joy occupy the same spot. I just think it could have been illustrated a bit better. Your beginning threw me off, as I was expecting to read about Berlin and instead you are describing writing. Perhaps two different poems.

I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.

Blessings, Tammy

[Siena - Silent Awakenin..]

This was so good! Esp the title... totally drew me in.

[Octob3r Star]

Interesting write. Thanks for sharing. Cheers!

[John Jackson (El Juero)]

Bracing...jarring...tragic.
Love the way you bracketed this stunning observation.