Distant Shores

A poem about Travel.

Distant Shores

 

 

I have an illness living inside of me. It swims through my veins, crawls around my rib cage like a serpent. It sleeps in my blood cells and breathes through my skin. It is very slowly devouring my soul. It digs deep down into my mind and buries its seed. It finally has engulfed my body.

It has become me!

 

 

My heart thumps vigorously for new encounters.

My eyes want new images to stimulate them.

My feet want to feel like they are alive.

My ears want to hear sounds that make them ring with joy.

My hands want to wave good-bye to new friends.

 

I have a bug living inside of me.

A travel bug!

 

  ©LukeRitta

 

Reviews

[Aarontastic]

I think you chose a great subject (travel), and you accurately describe how it feels to really have a love for it. I know I do, and reading over the 'my heart, my eyes' litany, I found that all of those lines resonated with me.

Overall though, this is a little too simple and 'safe' for me. It seems overly orthodox. The imagery throughout is decent, but I just feel like you could do more with it and express your love of traveling in a way that's more unique. On the other hand, I am still getting to know your style, and maybe this is what you are going for. I do like how you use those exclamatory statements in your work though, it makes it feel very passionate.

[Alexis]

cooooooool

[Cassie Fraga]

hahahaha!!! message conveyed clear... that was a fun and clever read!! AWESOME write!!

[Tainted Devotion]

this is exactly how i feel right now lol love this. this made me smile a lot. ^_^

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A travel bug indeed, well done, I must say that this perfect proe tickled me.

[Manda]

This put a huge smile on my face because I am suffering from travel fever! But for your writing, it was wonderfully described: fantastic analogies "crawls around my rib cage like a serpent" really paints a picture of a snake slithering in between the ribs. The idea of consumption was powerfully used, so all in, well done my friend. Very well done! :)

[?]

Very nice indeed, I love to travel...but havent been able to for the last few years.
So I to have a bit of a travel bug...but I also have a fever with this bug and it is called Spring fever...lol
This was such a wonderful piece. Didnt actually expect that ending, but loved it