Distant Shores

A poem about Travel.

Distant Shores

 

 

I have an illness living inside of me. It swims through my veins, crawls around my rib cage like a serpent. It sleeps in my blood cells and breathes through my skin. It is very slowly devouring my soul. It digs deep down into my mind and buries its seed. It finally has engulfed my body.

It has become me!

 

 

My heart thumps vigorously for new encounters.

My eyes want new images to stimulate them.

My feet want to feel like they are alive.

My ears want to hear sounds that make them ring with joy.

My hands want to wave good-bye to new friends.

 

I have a bug living inside of me.

A travel bug!

 

  ©LukeRitta

 

Reviews

[Aarontastic]

I think you chose a great subject (travel), and you accurately describe how it feels to really have a love for it. I know I do, and reading over the 'my heart, my eyes' litany, I found that all of those lines resonated with me.

Overall though, this is a little too simple and 'safe' for me. It seems overly orthodox. The imagery throughout is decent, but I just feel like you could do more with it and express your love of traveling in a way that's more unique. On the other hand, I am still getting to know your style, and maybe this is what you are going for. I do like how you use those exclamatory statements in your work though, it makes it feel very passionate.

[Mary C]

Well done!

[brandon beacon hill]

Very nice. Simple. To the point. Think you could take it further.

[Matthew]

Cool story bro

[TawnyBlueStar]

nice poem.
The first part made me feel a bit queasy with the mention of something swimming through veins and crawling around the rib cage. which is exactly how I feel when I travel. but by the second part, I got a sense of adventure :D which is also what I am like XD
really interesting. love it :D

[Lily Mae]

The love and need for adventure lies within that travel bug.. I know it all to well. I feel it feeding on me once my feet have been planted in one place for too long..xo

[Becky Clancy]

I thought it was cool that you started off with something sad in the beginning and eventually putting something happy towards the end, very nice job ^^

[Raven Starhawk]

Such a spellbinding transformation. I had this close to my face as I read. It held me close and almost refused to let go. The very last line for some reason made me smile. I am not sure why. I guess because I sort of had a weird image in my head. But anyway well penned. ^^*

[misscb]

Very true and very well done!!!