12 Aspirins and a bottle of scotch

A poem about a cool bar.

 12 Aspirins and a bottle of scotch.

 

 

Torrents of whisky wash away the flavour of nicotine.

Smoke hangs in the air, men drink at a rum soaked bar.

The floor glows like liquid silver from spilt beer.

A match is lit, the flame moves like mercury.

Charlie Parker and Louis Armstrong play jazz throughout the bar.

 

A mature woman drinks an elegant martini, she plays with the

green olives as her blond hair dances to the groove.

A man in the corner chews on a cocktail stick, the aroma of sweet

perfume and musky cologne lingers in the air.

A saxophone is played in the toilet.

Drums beat to the beatniks.

A man in a purple hat flips a coin.

 

Heads or tails?

Heads or tails?

 

Shots of gin are swallowed, rivers of Smoky bourbon flow,

men with goatees and women with custard coloured berets kiss and flirt.

The cool dames and the crazy cats swing all night long.

Sitting in an old brown leather chair

Tom waits writes another

cool jazz song.

 

Reviews

[J.V. Stanley]

This screams 'speakeasy'. Upon reading this I saw the 1920's, not entirely sure if that was your intent or not, but from the way its written, that is what I imagined.

Shots of gin are swallowed, rivers of Smoky bourbon flow,
men with goatees and women with custard coloured berets kiss and flirt.
The cool dames and the crazy cats swing all night long.

Also has a feel of the south to it, New Orleans...
I really love the 'custard coloured berets' impeccable imagery here.

Bravo, my friend. wonderfully penned

[Danielle Searby]

fantastic.

[Katie Thew]

I like a lot. Heads or tails I could skip. I am sure it has some awesome meaning but it flows better for me without it. Really like it though! Lots of imagery and flow; mixed with deeper meanings, cool.

[Sunni Davis]

I love the vivid imagery you've captured here. very nice.

[arbitrary jane]

smooth and evocative. ... heads or tails? leaves a question hanging, suspended in the air, and the music flows around it, something that is almost an answer.

[Miranda Manne]

This poem is a little more tame form-wise than your usual work, but that doesn't make it any less charming. This poem flows beautifully, and when I close my eyes I can really see the place you are describing.

My favorite parts of this poem are the smells. I can really identify that scent; I can pinpoint it in a bar and I've always loved it. Thank you for another amazing piece!

[Coyote Poetry]

Sometime the 12 Aspirins don't help. Don't mix the drinks. I like the place you took me with your words. I hung in bars for 35 years. I do miss the good conversation you can find in a dark bar with strangers. I enjoyed the complete poem. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[POETIC VIXEN]

this was that scene....i engulf ur writing

[Yari Garcia (Older Prof..]

Very cool. The descriptions make me imagine everything perfectly. And extra cool points 'cause I love Tom Waits ;-)

[Matthew]

I think this piece has beautiful imagery and the unuasual grouping of adjectives.
I think it is elegant writing, but i don't see the passionate point or idea you're trying to convey. For me, this is very important in poetry.

[Hayley]

Awesome imagery and soooo smooth in its flow. I practically felt like I was there!
I don't know, I just really liked this line because it's so out there and daring. "A saxophone is played in the toilet."
Also, the ending line "Tom waits writes another/cool jazz song." I like because you bring us back to an ordinary person to a point of focus in a crowded atmosphere.
Excellent job!