12 Aspirins and a bottle of scotch

12 Aspirins and a bottle of scotch

A Poem by Luke Ritta
"

A poem about a cool bar.

"

 12 Aspirins and a bottle of scotch.

 

 

Torrents of whisky wash away the flavour of nicotine.

Smoke hangs in the air, men drink at a rum soaked bar.

The floor glows like liquid silver from spilt beer.

A match is lit, the flame moves like mercury.

Charlie Parker and Louis Armstrong play jazz throughout the bar.

 

A mature woman drinks an elegant martini, she plays with the

green olives as her blond hair dances to the groove.

A man in the corner chews on a cocktail stick, the aroma of sweet

perfume and musky cologne lingers in the air.

A saxophone is played in the toilet.

Drums beat to the beatniks.

A man in a purple hat flips a coin.

 

Heads or tails?

Heads or tails?

 

Shots of gin are swallowed, rivers of Smoky bourbon flow,

men with goatees and women with custard coloured berets kiss and flirt.

The cool dames and the crazy cats swing all night long.

Sitting in an old brown leather chair

Tom waits writes another

cool jazz song.

 

© 2011 Luke Ritta


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Featured Review

This screams 'speakeasy'. Upon reading this I saw the 1920's, not entirely sure if that was your intent or not, but from the way its written, that is what I imagined.

Shots of gin are swallowed, rivers of Smoky bourbon flow,
men with goatees and women with custard coloured berets kiss and flirt.
The cool dames and the crazy cats swing all night long.

Also has a feel of the south to it, New Orleans...
I really love the 'custard coloured berets' impeccable imagery here.

Bravo, my friend. wonderfully penned



Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Can see the nuances of Kerouac and the like running through your poem but that wording is all your own, and, wonderfully graphic. Can almost smell the whisky and smoke and .. love the thought of sitting back in a worn leather chair listening to jazz!

'The floor glows like liquid silver from spilt beer. ~'A match is lit, the flame moves like mercury.'

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

well you paint this bar with perfectly... took me there with your great imagery!! awesome write my friend!!!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Me
great writing:)

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mmm. You haven't added anything new since Nov., too? Did you get scared off by the plagiarism, or, did you -- like me -- just not produce anything in the meantime?

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Great poem, fits in well that you like Jack Kerouac,who wrote better about Jazz than anybody else did or will ever do.Cool !

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is a wonderfully elegant poem. The images you chose all move together throughout. The choice of Smoky Bourbon finished finalized with Tom Waits at the end of the stanza, I truly enjoyed.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You make me think of my younger days, going to clubs and watching the people. Some relaxing, after a busy week. Some busy, after a relaxed week. Some living, after a week with no life. You create a picture with this write that makes the reader feel they are there with you. Wonderful writing, indeed!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love how smooth this poem is, just like scotch. Great job capturing the essense!

~ Scandalous

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is great! I love the scene you've set here. You've described it vividly and have even given us sound, too. I really like the feel, great poem!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love that this piece painted such a clear scene. I can visualize the jazz bar just the way you described. Such great imagery! Nice work.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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53 Reviews
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Shelved in 6 Libraries
Added on November 9, 2011
Last Updated on November 9, 2011

Author

Luke Ritta
Luke Ritta

London, United Kingdom



About
Hi, I am 26 and from London. I love writing short stories, poems and novels. My writing is a bit like Jack Kerouac and Ernest Hemingway. I love reading classic Literature, from Tolstoy to Proust, I .. more..

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