The Lost

I walked to school with my thoughts filling my mind and overflowing in the form of tears through my eyes. I couldn't accept that he was gone. I felt anger, fear, sadness, but I also felt happy. I was happy that he didn't have to suffer anymore, but I was scared of who might become Derick's next victim.

"Hey, Mallory. How're you holding up?" Jake asked in a caring tone as he leans in to see my face.

And then the feeling of sadness began consuming me. I wiped my tears as Jake rubbed my back in comfort. "I- I don't know, it's just-"

"Hard to take in? I know, Mal. Derick and the others are paying for what they did to Blake. Take it easy on yourself, okay?" I turned around to face the direction to my house and just stood there, contemplating whether I should go home and cry myself to sleep or go to school and face all the people who stood and watched as Blake got bullied all those times.

"Take it easy?" I asked as I looked to Jake, "should I go home?" I felt hot tears forming in my eyes.

"Mallory, go home. I'll come visit you after school with Daniel." I felt furious when he mentioned Daniel.

"Not Daniel, that b*****d has to pay. He's the reason Blake did what he did, he's the reason Blake was cutting."

Jake looked shocked, "go home Mal, you need a break from school for a while."

I nodded and ran home before my tears ran down my face.

By the time Jake came to check up on me, I was sitting on my sofa watching The Fault in Our Stars. He came in after three knocks on the door. "Mal, what have you been up to all day?" Jake asked, concerned for my mental state.

I motioned him to take a seat next to me, "I'm fine. I just needed to take a break after what happened."

"It's alright, I need a break too, but I got a responsibility to people." Jake tried sympathizing with me.

I felt a lump the size of a golf ball form in my throat as I moved my hair out of my face and behind my ear, "Jake, I loved him. But that wasn't enough to save him. I should have done something more." I broke into tears.

"There was nothing more you could have done, he failed to realize how much you cared for him." Jake signed, "we did our best and that's what matters."

My voice trembles with every word I speak, "Jake, don't ever leave me. I can't lose you too."

Jake brings me into a tight hug, resting his chin on my head, "You'll never lose me, I can promise you that."

I wiped my tears and took out the note that Blake had left me, it read:

Dear Mallory,

If you're reading this it's because I finally decided to end my suffering. I know that you liked me and I'm sorry I had to leave you so soon. I wonder what we could have been if I had stayed longer. Maybe we could have gone on so many wonderful adventures together and then maybe grown old together as well. As great as that sounds, it wouldn't change the fact that everyone I could have crossed paths with would think of me as a monster. I wish your opinion of me was the only opinion that mattered. I wish we could have done all those wonderful things I mentioned before. I wish I could love you as much as you loved me. I'm leaving this world, so promise me something. Promise me that you won't do anything stupid. Don't try to get revenge or follow me to the end, I don't want you here. I've been fighting this battle since a young age, it's never been easy and lately, it seems like it's only gotten harder. So I'm giving up, but you don't have to. You tried your best to make me happy, and for a moment I actually though I finally could be. Thank you for being my friend, I'll think of you as I go. I wish I was strong enough to stay, but Mal look closely, Jake is head over heels in love with you. Stay with him for me, please? If you want to make me happy from beyond the grave, stay with him. If anyone deserves an angel like you, it's him.

I'm so sorry, 
Blake.