The Hurt

The sky was clouded, covered in a blanket of grey. A whole week had passed since the incident and no one has seen Blake at all. I've wanted to visit him, but Jake and Daniel tell me I should give the boy some more time.

Despite what happened, the police don't believe that a couple of high school bullies could pull off such a stunt. I think people are capable of anything, no matter their age, if they really wanted to.

Not many people in my grade came to school, they're probably suffering from PTSD from what they saw at the party.

"I shouldn't have opened that door," I told Jake as we walked to our third period class, "I should have listened to Blake. Now it's my fault for what happened to him."

"Mallory?" Jake asked rubbing his forehead, "just shut up. It is your fault, but it's also Derick's for hurting him. Derick did that to him. And Blake's fault for not putting them in their place."

I stopped in my tracks when he said that, "did I say something wrong? Is that why you shut me up?"

Jake turned around to face me with a sigh, "no Mal, I told you to shut up because saying that it's your fault is a stupid way of coping with a tragedy. Blaming yourself doesn't solve anything. Stop dwelling on the past, and do something to help him now."

Jake left me and I stood there, in the middle of the school, thinking of what he had just said to me. I want to see Blake, I have to see Blake.

After school I walked over to his house. The place looked empty with all the lights out, but I knew he was home because I saw him walk past his bedroom window.

I looked down and played with my gloves. How would I go talk to him after everything that happened? How do I just go up to him and talk like everything is fine? I can't, I just can't.

I look back up, holding my breath, but his curtains were closed now. I guess he doesn't want to see anyone.

"Mallory? What are you doing here?" Jake asks while carrying plastic bags with groceries.

"I was just leaving," I start walking toward my house, but stop and slowly turn around, "what are you doing here, Jake?"

He fixes his posture as he speaks, "you want the truth?" I nod in response, "I'm taking care of Blake and his family, all this food is for them."

"Why don't you want me visiting him? You told me to give him time, but you get to visit him?"

"Mallory, he doesn't want you to visit him. He doesn't want you to see him."

"Why not? Is he mad at me for opening the door?" My voice cracked a little.

Jake sighs, "follow me. You can ask him yourself, but you're gonna have to talk to him through the door."

We walked into the house. It was very dark, almost like no one was living here. "You can go, I'll be down here, cooking for the family." Jake said as he placed the bags down on the kitchen counter.

I climbed the stairs all the way up to Blake's bedroom. The floorboards creaked with every step I took. And every step I took got slower and slower, louder and louder.

I knocked on his door and spoke a few seconds after, "B- Blake? It's me, Mallory," I leaned against his door, "I was worried about you. I wanted to know how you've been."

I waited in silence until I heard footsteps approaching me from the other side of the door, "I'm fine, Mallory. Stop worrying and go home."

"Blake, please. Please don't tell me to go home. I've been wanting to talk to you, wanting to see you. I've missed you. So please don't tell me to go home, not right now." A tear ran down my cheek as I tried not to sound like I was crying.

I heard the door unlock and Blake walk away from it, "you want to see me?" he asked and let silence fill in a bit before talking again, "come in."

I took a deep breath and opened the door. He was sitting in his bed facing the ground under his feet. "C- Can I, sit next to you?" I wiped my tears away.

He patted the spot next to him signalling that I could.

We sat in silence, which seemed to be the only thing happening all day, until he finally spoke again, "I didn't want you to see me, to see my face. I thought that if you saw me, you would become afraid of me. But when I heard your voice, I remembered what Jake told me. Do you care about me?"

I held both of his hands in mine, "Blake, I like you. I care about you a lot, and I worry about you all the time. I would never be afraid of you. I want you to know that."

He lifted his head slowly and showed me the left side of his face, "what about now?" He asked with a watery eye.

His left eye socket was empty. It was just pink and looked squishy. My heart began racing at the sight, but calmed down a bit soon after. Why would anyone harm an innocent boy like Blake?

I caressed his face, looked into his deep brown eye and said "you missing an eye would not make me afraid of you. I really like you Blake, I really do and nothing could ever change my mind."

I leaned in closer, I wanted him to kiss me. He leaned in too, but pulled away and stood up, "give me some time, Mallory. I- I don't deserve you."

"Blake," I felt my face get hot, "please don't say that. I thought you liked me, what happened?"

"I do like you, but I don't want anyone to get hurt," Blake grabbed my arm and lead me out of his room, "so just leave, okay? Goodbye Mallory." And closed the door on me.

His back is against the door, the same time I lean my back against it too. "Don't say goodbye, not to me. I'll give you the time you want, just don't ever say goodbye to me... ever."

"Alright, I take it back. No goodbyes." His voice cracked, "See you later, Mallory."

I tilted my head to the ceiling and shut my eyes tight, praying he would be alright, hoping he would feel fine.

I knew he was hurt, I knew because of the way he spoke. It hurt me, too.