Birth

A man engaged discovers his partner is pregnant and begins having reoccurring nightmares of murdering people and perceives this as a Foreshadowing of his unborn sons future life.

Context of chapters:
The book itself is split exactly in two parts/acts, highlighting both the connection/bond between father and son but also signifying each of their duality.
This chapter is the first chapter of the second act.
The second act is told from the point of view of the son, told in the first-person. The first act being that of the father, described in the third-person.

Act II
Chapter One

Where to start. I'm already begun but have no clue how to even begin with this so Il just let it out as I go along. I'm in a state of flux as it were..perpetual limbo if you will. All my intentions..the consequences relentless and inevitable like the momentum of a pendulum swing. Like falling rocks. While I move towards my end like an automaton.
I remember being a kid putting the saddle of my bike onto the ground so that the wheels were straight up in the air as I feigned to fix an imaginary problem. I recall spinning the back wheel with the pedal so that it were going super-fast..and then I stuck a stick in the flying spokes and the damn thing nearly took my hand off at the wrist. I'm only thankful that my naïve curiosity didn't compell me to try my finger. But trying to break out of a cycle is just like sticking your finger in the spokes.
I begin this recount at the age of thirty and six in the full knowledge that I have killed/murdered twenty five people so far. This thing I'm writing down now is a way of somehow trying to account for all I've done in my short life, but it's also an attempt to give myself a visible form of reason..of reasoning with myself and seeing if there is not, perhaps, some hope for me yet.
I think, before I delve into factors of my childhood, that I should probably let you know, without it seeming like a boast, of my twenty five victims. They are all men. Without an exception. That is my only rule..that they are all men. There is never any sexual element..my sensations are beyond thoughts of sex. I don't confuse and blur sex with violence and absolutely know the difference between the two..even though the act of coitus could philosophically be argued and then termed as a form of consensual violence in itself.
None of these twenty five men were what you could call "innocent"..not that this excuses me, because of course this doesn't preclude me from the right of law. But religious people believe, do they not, in universal laws?..of comeuppance, of karma. Each of these are forms of dark justice as I see it. And maybe therefore logically I will suffer mine. But if a man pulls a knife out on me in the street and makes to appear as if he can publicly dominate me or anyone, something in this day and age which is only too prelevent, then he will swiftly find that same knife imbedded at the base of his neck soon enough. My first, when I were seventeen was a person just like this on a night out who terrorized our group of friends and even chose one of them to draw his blade on..a friend of mine that some years later took his own life. The experience for my friend was an accumulation of events that preceded and proceeded and he was probably always doomed not to take shtick and s**t all that well.
But when this guy pulled what looked like a carving knife on my friend after hours of following our small group around and taking the piss all night then I resolved right there and then to turn him into an after thought. I drank water to clear my head while my friends tried to enjoy what they could of the evening. I persuaded the group to stay at the place we were at because I knew he wouldn't leave us alone and that way he'd be easy enough to follow and overpower when the alcohol in my system diluted and his increased. I drank pure orange juice to aid the process as I watched him in his secret insecurity drinking himself into literal oblivion.
It was approaching nigh on four am as my friends awaited taxi's and were whisked off back to their privations. Just me left..and him. Saying his goodbyes to people who no longer cared if he were there or not. Earlier in the evening I'd perceived that the rate he was drinking at was far more than he could afford, as he searched his pockets continuously and even had to borrow a pound from an unimpressed friend. So he was a local and would be walking home as I saw it.
With only one route to anywhere home from the exit of the club I gave him a two minute headstart, earlier on calculating my stride distance with the preferred place and time that I would ideally need to meet him at in order to make it an expedient set of actions on my part.
Setting off with him in the distance I knew that I was sober enough now to willingly want to do what I was about to. Soon he took a path I'd hoped he would, one that was dimly lit with a banked ditch on one side of it. I stayed in the shadows and thankfully noted how there were no leaves crunching under my foot. I knew the knife was held in his jeans belt at the small of his back. He looked in his late twenty's and was average build. At seventeen I was already six foot so I couldn't foresee a problem. He meandered, doing diagonal's in his drunken stupor so I would have to be effective, almost immediate. I stole up behind him, mimicking his wayward movements to stay in tandem and make it seamless. When my hand held the handle with thumb directly above I yanked up, freeing it, while my other hand clouted him in the ear as hard as I could. He fell face down and struggled to turn over so I placed my knee in his back and pulled his head up by his hair as I forced the blade and pierced it through the back of the neck exiting up through the adams apple. I pulled the blade back through and whispered "remember me?..remember me!"
I found music on my phone and put in headphones and listened to Rolling Stones (I Cant Get No) Satisfaction..the sound of him wheezing and gargling and gurgling was more than I could bear and I just had to block it out as I dragged his body into the ditch. I broke various tree branch's rich with leaves and covered him as best as I could with the light of dawn beginning to creep up.
These writings are a sort of confession and though I can never hope to justify what I've done, maybe through writing this I can come closer to humanity again. If I can't then at least I have a record of an attempt.
I will now try to offer factors in what has created this murderous counterpart in me..a counterpoint which feels absolutely necessary. As morally reprehensible as that may be to most. But I only offer one perspective of the human condition and therefore it should be considered as such and so and nothing more.
Is My Will My Own?

Chapter Two/Family Life

Author's Note

The first part of the book from the fathers perspective is written in the third person. But I liked the idea of the sons direct viewpoint in the second act. Its far more intimate and considering it is not the father who has actually commited the same degree of crime, it seems fitting that the sons perspective should be told by himself.

Reviews

[Relic]

You are certainly a good writer. I liked this chapter a lot as it innitiates the subjects character traits and descibes his reasoning when it comes to his hainous acts.

I noticed you inserted capitols again in places that don't need them. If the writing is strong enough on its own, there should be no need for their inclusion.

Your sentence structure could us some revisions in places.

Some examples:

(I remember being a kid with my bike putting the saddle on the ground so the wheels were straight up in the air as I feigned to fix an imaginary problem.)

with my bike putting the saddle on the ground? Did your bike put the saddle on the ground or did you? I'm not sure but the order of that sentence might be considered a misplaced modifier.

Try this.

As a kid, I remember flipping the saddle of my bike onto the ground so the wheels were straight up in the air....



My First, when I were seventeen was a person just like this on a night out who terrorized our group of friends and drew his blade on a friend of mine, who some years later took his own life.)

This sentence is a bit muddled and confusing. This is just a guess but did you mean...

My first was when I turned 17. He was just like this person on a similar night. He terrorized a group of my friends and chose one of them to draw his blade on. Some years later, that friend took his own life.



He meandered, doing diagonal's in his drunken stupor so I would have to be effective, almost immediate.

He meandered, doing diagonal's in a drunken stupor so I would have to be effective; almost immediate.

(Setting off with him in the distance I knew that I was sober enough now to willingly want to do what I was about to.)

I believe 'Willingly' and 'want to' are the same thing, therefore redundent.

Setting off with him in the distance, I knew I was sober enough now to willingly do what I was about to.


"remember me?..remember me!".

"remember me?..remember me!"

(Earlier in the evening( id )perceived.....
Earlier in the evening I'd perceived........

Hope this helps.

[LuciusGray]

I remember being a kid..putting the saddle of my bike onto the ground so that the wheel's were up in the air as I.... Last two are simple corrections. .. I think with that sentence I wanted to place myself bear His drunken stupor..this, in the story, is a personal matter so it is not just any stupour. So the first matter I agree with..i hope you understand my reasoning for the second one and the last two are simple corrections thankfully accepted. Really appreciate your opinion, Elgy

[LuciusGray]

..near His drunken stupor..

[LuciusGray]

My first, when I was seventeen, was a person just like this who terrorized our group of friend's and even chose one of them to draw his blade on..a friend that some years later took his own life.. That's all I'll change about that sentence lololol cheers : )

[LuciusGray]

Willingly want to do. I believe there are many things that we all want to do but are not so willing to go about doing them..so willingly want to do stays lol :) Elgy

[LuciusGray]

..perspective be told by himself..