Just Say These Three Words...

It endlessly baffles my mind about how she says that I am her guardian, and she calls me as such, but she can still love another. When she can say that I am present for her more than her lover, how is it that she can sustain that? How can she deal with what I would describe as a pristine case of cognitive dissonance? In romance, do the ones who guard only guard? Do they not end up falling in love? I find it hard to believe in the contrary. They do, in normality, end up falling in love. Those who guard with tender care and a gentle touch are the ones who seem to become envied and prized. At this point, I may just be overstating things, but I think not.

          I understand if your heart is delicate; as is mine. That part of this I can empathize with. We can tread softly along this path that we will make. But to say that you want to love me and then not do so, I must painfully ask why you said such in the first place. That is something I would never want to say out of pure will, and it merely hurts my hand just to write such an atrocity. But I can’t ignore such a thing as this, and I am sorry for that; so deeply sorry. And your lover, you say you cannot let him down…I have to come to understand that. Despite every single fiber of my being wanting to shout out the words, “I love you!” to you until I run out of breath and tears, I have to understand.

          You say that you cry, and I say that I tend not to. But this situation has given me a reason to let these tears fall. It is pure torment, greater than the pains of the supposed fires of Hell. Either I will break when I am in your arms, or I will break when I am not. And you say that you are unsure if this all would change in the future; that you would love me instead…please, let that change happen. If it is only for one moment, then in that one moment I can slip away into your arms and give up…please, don’t deny me comfort in the face of a fate such as this, where I am bound to fall apart. Please…

 

Daniel Helle, Thirteenth of May, Two Thousand and Eleven.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A very strong chapter. Some words and emotions are needed in a life for us to stay strong and content. I like the way you made your points in the chapter.
"And you say that you are unsure if this all would change in the future; that you would love me instead…please, let that change happen. If it is only for one moment, then in that one moment I can slip away into your arms and give up…please, don’t deny me comfort in the face of a fate such as this, where I am bound to fall apart. Please…
Thank you for the outstanding chapter.
Coyote

[Matthew Smith]

That b***h below is bonkers.

Nice write, though, very emotionally charged.

It is, to me, very depressing. I think I see myself in it a little more than I would like to admit--I can really identify with your message.