Ms. Personality

Dear Ms. Personality,

Hmph.. I assume you think I am one of your adoring fans. Lost in the fantastical that is you, well I'm not.

I think its time you took a look at yourself. I know how you really feel... you make all your customers think that they're special. Oh yes, you make them think that you enjoy helping them, and that they are number one on your list.

I've seen you, even as you're hanging up the phone, you're already whining and snickering about their funny accents, and strange demands. I've seen you, smile to their face, and then as they leave grumble and give them the bird.

You make it seem like Customer Service is such a hard job. You make it seem taxing on your poor love of humanity. I think I know the truth. The truth is, you don't like people at all. And I set out to prove this one day.

Oh yes I did, I know you, Ms. Personality... you're sitting their slack jawed right now. Wondering how I read you so easily. Well, let me tell you...

I was standing on the other side of your kiosk, hidden, cleverly, from view. I dialed your local number, and asked specifically for you.

Your co-worker was not surprised. It happens all the time. And when you answered, you smiled, and did your dance and song.

Hello, you said, how may I help you.

And I told you of the cake order that was lost, and of the demands I had to make it better.

You looked concerned, I could tell from your face, as I was watching you. Your voice carried empathy, and then was apologetic when the time was right. You talked me through my anger, and never knew I was watching you.

And as I hung up the phone, I couldn't help but smile. With your winning personality, my worries were all gone. I knew you'd take care of me, you almost had me going. Until I turned and looked at you, at your kiosk, and there you were glaring.

Talking animatedly to your co-worker, of my own stupidity. How, if I had read the order form, I would not have been displeased. My mouth hung open, you had fooled me, but yet you proved me right. Oh Ms. Personality, you aren't a friendly sight. Get you ranting, get you raving, and you're just as ugly as the people you are helping, on the other end.

So, there I stood, watching you, as a good, silent enemy should. And when I walked up to your counter, to speak to you in person. I found the Ms. Personality on the phone waiting for me there.

I spoke to you on the phone, I said.

Oh yes, I remember you, you said.  The one with the cake, I have talked to the bakery personally, and they are fixing it right away. I promise you, it's all better. And, just for the inconvienence, why don't I give you three months of membership for free?

Flabbergasted, yet again, I stood, my mouth ajar. All I could mutter and mumble, was a, erm.. yes, that will be fine.

I gave you my card, Ms. Personality. And I hated you again, because all my prejudice against your smiling face was getting me my way. Maybe that is your evilness. Maybe, it is because of that one trait you posesses leaves us helpeless and defenseless. Yes, a false sense of security. But, I, and only I, know the truth.

You'd just as soon spit in my face, than give me my three months. And I bet when I walk back to the bakery, they'll say it was just a lie. There was nothing they could do for me, and you knew that in the beginning. But, just wanted to make me walk to the back of the building.

There you are, you said, and handed me my card.

I took , and stomped away, ducking behind an aisle. Pausing, waiting, trying to catch my hurried breath. I'll catch you in the act I thought, and jumped out from behind it.

But, had already moved on, I could see it in your face. The sympathy in your eyes suggest another crisis was on the phone.

You nodded, and you smiled, your brow furrowed, and you grimaced. Taking on their problems as though they were your very own. See, I am not so special, you proved it just then.

Toying with the person on the other end of the line. I half skipped back to the bakery, knowing what I would find. The cake would not be fixed, it would not be done in time.

I walked back, and my jaw dropped again. Sitting on the counter top, was the cake in question.

The bakery manager handed it to me. I took it, and sighed, this was not how it was supposed to be. I should be able to march back to the front. Yell, and scream, because it was messed up. So, thanking the nice lady in the bakery, I walked back to the front. Where you stood in front of me.

"I just wanted to say," you said, "that I hope they did it right. And if you have another issue, then don't hesitate. Just call me, and I'll make it alright."

Oh Ms. Personality, I really hate you now, all I could mutter was an under the breath thanks, as I hurried out the door.

Though, in the distance, I could hear you griping about how no one thanks you for the job you do. And why should we Ms. Personality. It's all a guise to you. You do not care, you do not worry, our stresses don't keep you up at night.

In the end, I hope your lies, keep you awake at night.

Sincerely Yours,

Ms. Inconsiderate