Her.

We all have that someone we can't get enough of

and she is mine

I often feel alone

Even though she is always there

To catch me when I fall

To calm me down when the only thing I can think of is ending my life

My mental illness never scares her away like it did with the others

It in fact brings her closer

She is the pill to my incurable ailment

I constantly judge myself

But she never judges

Her kiss

My true addiction

In all honesty

All I want to do is end my miserable self

But she cuts the rope of the noose around my neck

Then helps me down from the stool with just a few words

“Everything is ok.”

“I'm here now.”

With that

I am saved

By her

My Prescription

She is all that I have

All I'll ever need.

 

 

Author's Note

Please critique, thank you.

Reviews

[William Liston]

First of all, I enjoyed reading this. The emotional content and relatability grabbed my attention. I felt like this piece had a good balance of raw emotion and artistic expression. I loved the "prescription" and "addiction" analogies as well as the "cuts the rope" imagery. Your love for her bled through clearly. Overall, well penned.

As for critiques, l'll address the grammatical errors first:
- In the first line, the word "can't" doesn't have an apostrophe.
- In the last line, the word "I'll" needs to be captitalized and it needs an apostrophe.


My other critiques are more subjective and concern stylistic choices:
- I suggest not capitalizing every line because doing so makes it a little difficult to know where a new sentence begins and/or ends. This can lead one to stumble while reading. For example, I paused after line three because I thought it was a complete sentence; then, when I read line four, it felt awkward.
- I also suggest using proper punctuation for the same reason. With my advice, the poem would read something like:

We all have that someone we can't get enough of,
and she is mine.
I often feel alone,
even though she is always there
to catch me when I fall
~ to calm me down ...

Of course, those are merely personal opinions and should only be done if they resonate with you. Poem is strong either way.

- William Liston

[Lucimere]

Thank you very much William.