Fear

rambling again...

Seems as though you're here again... its always that way...
Even so my days never end...
You're always the steps behind me... just out of sight... echoing... stalking...
The shadows in my periphory... watching... waiting...
If only to spread and consume all light...
It creates a vision that blinds within... If you could only see it too...

The thought that burns me inside...
A feeling... a belief... that you will hurt me...
As if I've stared too long at the sun... the sight that burns my eyes...
And you'll catch me... and you'll kill me...

I wish I could flip the switch and start again...
Reset the machine and begin anew...
I get a feeling every now and then that your eyes are watching me...
Seeing me... feeling me... scarring me... My newest ink or brand...
It creates a flame inside of me...
I wish that you could feel it...

The thought that burns me inside...
A feeling... a belief... that you will hurt me...
As if I've stared to long at the sun... the sight that burns my eyes...
And you've caught me... and  you'll kill me...

Did you feel me trembling? Shaking in you arms?
Forests have gone bare from less a shake...
I could have sworn I heard you say "I love you"...
Giving new breath... new life... to the flames inside...
They rage... now an inferno seeking its way out...
I wish you could feel it...
I'll show you everything... all my truths and mistakes...

The thought that burns me inside...
A feeling... a belief... that will hurt me...
As if I've stared at the sun too long... the sight that burns my eyes...
And I am yours... and I am soon dead...

Reviews

[Mpotavin]

I felt that this was a little melodramatic, especially with the over use of ... commas would work better as you don't need the over exaggerated pause. Watch your verb noun relations like - sight burns not sight burn, you got it right the second two times though. Line 7, second the should be a that. Really difficult to figure out who "you" is. Seems it is different things at different times or maybe there are multiple yous? I don't think the repetition is necessary, especially since you also repeat words over and over again like burns, and watch/watching. It would be nice to have some not so vague imagery too. The reader gets nothing about who, what, where, when, or how. Get out of your head and flesh it out.