Reality Check

ramblings

Among the smoke and fog of an April night... the haze and blur of excitement and anticipation... Four small candles in a darkened room, four rings of light dancing overhead... Trying to remember where I began, when I fell, where I left my soul... Oh yeah... I left it with you.
And so the night slips... among velleities and carefully placed regrets... to find one who has a touch as yours, a feel as yours, a taste as yours...
Blind luck? Or blind ambition? Daring to believe is my folly... daring to dream my end... How can this be my now? A question that constantly hangs on my tongue. How? I think it was an immediate reaction, the touch of your hand left a weight on my shoulder long after it was gone... I felt it dragging me down for days afterwords. I can still feel it there... lighter now... like a bird perched there to bare witness. Your mouth left a burning on my lips, an ache... and a flavor so sweet and familiar, comfortable even... I can still taste that beautiful smile. I would close my eyes and allow myself to dream it further but that only brings ghosts and shadows... halos and flashes... all of them you... all of them so amazingly inviting and infectious... speading throughout my mind til there is nothing but you... no sounds, no visions, no tastes nor smells... save you.
How do I wage a war against an assailant of such cunning and stealth? Or do I at all? Do I succumb to blindness and intoxication regardless of the results? Regardless of the risks? Is it worse to meet your end  never having tried, never having known? Or to be broken and lost, having known, having felt and tasted the dream, to then have it slip away with  the breaking light? I dont know... And I'm not sure I truly want to. Maybe its better to not dream at all.