Dreams #4

More rambling.

So many pale images and hazy visions... hard to discern... sometimes the dream is so real you feel it... taste it... fear it... and the glimpse of possibilities is enough... the glimpse of maybe... might or could be... is often inspiring... but what when you awaken? What of the days when you awaken to the emptiness that it was all just that... a dream? A world of light and shadows and pretty pictures you have painted in your mind... whether fed from an outside source or not... the awakening is usually quite disturbing... and lonely feeling. In dreams people often fly... accomplish amazing feats... become something they are not... I on the other hand dream of love... or rather being in love that is reciprocated... the connection between two souls that is undeniable and unbreakable... after 14 years of lies and a cheating "better half", I guess thats not so odd... maybe not as manly as most would view or hope, but f**k them... my dreams... not yours... stop touching my GI Joes and get out of my sandbox if you don't like the way I play with them....

All of the images and sounds... the smells and the tastes... an array of sensations that simply wash over you... sweep you away for a short time to where you want to be... or need to be... you cling to those images as long as you can... draw them near... clutch them to you like a small blanket that doesn't quite cover and wrap them around you... you fly... you swim... you conquer worlds with them... lay waste to civilizations and turn mountains to sand with them... incredible strength found there in the dream... and weakness... opening yourself up to possibilities and desires... needs... only to find them washed from your eyes at daybreak... ripped from your grasp and embrace... feel them burn in the palms of your hands... then sift thru your fingers in ash.... because as we all know... all dreams end with morning....

I have dreamed a beautiful dream... felt it... lived it for a brief moment... but now have been abruptly awakened... and find empty hands and an even emptier soul without it....

Some would say it's better to have experienced it... even if only briefly... I can't say that I agree with that... I was very content and fulfilled before... never knowing can be better... now knowing the possibilities... the could have beens... the might have beens... knowing the shadows and lights that danced there... I can say that I would have prefered to never know... In waking all the lights and shadows are everywhere I look... the remains of those possibilities are everywhere... like the dead of some long fought war scattered throughout the days and nights... piled in corners... rotting... their stench invading every thought.... or if you don't like that analogy... like a river plundering and roaring at it's banks... then drying up in drought... leaving dried, cracked earth and a barren river bed... full of debris that once raced in the currents... either way... I am haunted by shadows... by possibilities... by what if's... by dark unfamiliar waters... stagnant... I know this will pass.... time really does make all things better... the monster time... stalking us our whole lives... never quitting... as I have said before... crawling like a snail when we are impatient... and racing like a gazelle when we can't catch our breath... ever stalking... never quitting... In some ways I feel I am the monster time itself... at least in credo... never quit... live my life that way... always have... always will.... never quit.... maybe I'll dream again someday... but for now I will be content with simple sleep.... no awakenings from flight and thrill... flesh and sweat.... there's a comfort in that.... simple sleep.... but who knows... "to sleep... per chance to dream".... All I know is I have miles to go before I sleep... miles to go... simple sleep... maybe thats the dream for now.

 

As always... learn, tolerate, accept, roam, graze, see, be, live... DEVIATE....... Never Quit.

Author's Note

Have at it...