Help Me...

ramblings... Attempting to clarify and understand...

     Help me to clarity. Help me to understand. You've known for so long. Four years that I had to cast aside the war that is you, in order to win the war that sought to take my life. I couldn't wage them both. And you hated me... You spat venom and hate and told me run. So I believed I was dead to you. It sure seemed I was. I heard stories on the wind of moving on and your hatred of my ghost. So I believed I was dead to you. I found a way to adapt to the pain. I cry myself to sleep and I wake in tears. I ache. I pushed hope into it's own grave. I have known no peace. No solace. I know pain and survival. I know my love is nearby but I dared not hold that up to the light...

     But now... I've seen you reflected in the glass again. All I ask is why you waited? Why after 4 years? How did you find my remains after all this time? I can't reach out to you first. I can't make the first step... No matter how much I wanted to then or now. I have to wait for your hand to reach... your words to drift... I have no choice in that. I had no choices in our last words... I still save them... But I was chained and dragged off to darkness by demons not my own. A torture began. I was told I was dead to you...

     I know your pain. I know your suffering... It is shared. I do not make light of it. I cannot. It is shared. If you could only see. If you would but speak from the shadows... I'm terrified. I don't want you to disappear. It's been so long...

Author's Note

ramblings... have at it.

Reviews

[Ruth]

Ramblings of a most potent emotion. Sometimes, people seldom see what it is in front of them nor can they accept it. Even the most beautiful rose may cause a reaction to some and they fear. Fear is a huge part of the parcel of life, so it seems, and we may not always understand the whys to things...it may be that there are no answers, even. Maybe all we can do is find clarity in ourselves and accept people are always going to be different, and have their own paths in life, different to our own and our needs and wants.

A soulful insight love and a powerful grasping that rendered my heart silent and sorrowful.

x

[Lucifer Jones]

Thank you so much. xo

[Ruth]

My pleasure x

[Justin Xavier Smith]

I'm relating to your work more and more the more I see of it. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with meaningful rambling. That's almost entirely what I do in my writing and my speech. So keep at it. It's full of emotion.

[Tennessee]

If I have to feel this I'd rather feel nothing at all type of feel. I like it kid, time can f**k with your mind but it's passing anyway. Good kid.

[Scott Metro]

Excellent torment.
Your deep suffering comes alive here..
Things like this tear a hole in time and space..just big enough to get trapped in.
Well done my friend.
Scott

[Lucifer Jones]

It's a bittersweet trap. At least while ensnared and suffering I feel connected.

[Lucifer Jones]

Thank you for the gracious review my friend.

[Scott Metro]

:)
Scott.....

[Lyn Anderson]

I would not call this a ramble at all, but deftly coherent emotional thought processes brought on by deep loss and the possible return of something that was once lost -- my instinct, given my own personal biases, would be to turn away from what was lost, because it should not be found, but that is just me. As for form, structure, grammar, etc., it is beautifully written.

[Lucifer Jones]

Thank you so much K.