By My Fire...

more of my ramblings...

     I sit here in the flickering light... Watching purple hues... Blues and reds... Golds and twinkling frosty whites. The smell of evergreen and coffee at 2 a.m. Is there better station for reverie?  Have a seat, the couch is quite comfortable... Let me chew your ear a bit.

     The year has dwindled down to this last clutch of days. I look back on it with a chill seeking my core. Tears freeze as they fall. But a smile sits upon my lips. I replay the many dazzling films in my attic theater and you could not erase my smile for trying.  Because I know. Pain slips from me as hazy smoke to mingle in lights dancing in and out of deep shadows. A flame flickers among deep embers...

     This is the time of year when we see cold gray skies and a steely cast upon our days. A time when we so easily wallow in our sty of murk and memory. So easy to become caught in the mire. Chilling and draining. To stand at the back door gazing through frozen panes at a sand box abandoned to frost. 

     This is also the time of year when a hand is more easily extended for the door in front of you... Another soul pulling it aside to allow your passage with a smile. Breath dissipating in wisps, steaming to the clouds and sky. A time when in chills and emptiness we can see everyone struggle and toil to bring that smile to the surface to share love and possibilities of greater things with our fellow man. The bells ringing bear hope in all this cold and gloom. Better days and ways to come. A warming flame. A flicker longing to blaze. Do you hear them?

     The cold seeks bone... Fingers looking to take hold and drag us down. Drown us in our loss and ache. But the bells ring melodious memory and smiles. Candles and fireplaces, glowing embers... Holding and kisses... Hugs and laughter. Song and dance... Listen.

     Effusing smiles. Tales of the sand box and days of sun and laughter. Shoes filled with candy and pictures of great danes glued and glittered... Was that popcorn hanging from his...? You've allowed me to pour you a glass... shared my troubled wine and partook of my reverie. You've helped me carry my packages up to the attic, pack my shiny purple boxes and return to place my gifts beneath the tree.

     So we sit here in dancing shadows, gazing at twinkling hopes on blown glass and laughing thoughts of what is yet to be... My dear friend, the chill doesn't go. The hollow is still there... I miss... There it sits. My shadow. But lean here close to the fire. Feel the blaze kindling within. The crackling of embers that never go cold. Warmth of hope... Pour another coffee... Sit back and listen closely... Hear that? Bells...

Author's Note

just my rambling... my hope for any friend that may find the winter cold and need to hope for a smile. We all miss someone. Feel free to pull up a chair and have a coffee. I don't know... this is how it came out of that shiny little box. You tell me. Have at it.

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

"This is the time of year when we see cold gray skies and a steely cast upon our days. A time when we so easily wallow in our sty of murk and memory. So easy to become caught in the mire. Chilling and draining. To stand at the back door gazing through frozen panes at a sand box abandoned to frost."

I like the contemplation on the year and the night along with what the winter bring in memories and feelings. High five...:).............

[Lucifer Jones]

I'm honored... thank you for taking the time.

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure...Any time...:)..................

[Scott Metro]

Boy...a whole lotta stuff leaking out here....say what you feel ?....LOL
Yes....cold.....winter....
An interesting glimpse into your head. OH..and the tree...well..it's a bit...ah....never mind...lol

Enjoyed it.
Scott

[Lucifer Jones]

Yeah... I'm a free form writer... what you get comes straight from the attic via no filters. I don't think I was given those... at least no manual on how to make them work. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for taking the time.

[Scott Metro]

BTW...you use some very descriptive images....and that's a good thing.
Scott

[Lucifer Jones]

Thank you again friend.

[Joiedevivre]

i love this, so atmospheric, so wintery, almost made me shiver, but then your musing warmed me up. What a delight! And i love a good cup of coffee at 2 am :)

[Lucifer Jones]

Thank you so much... That is the best time after all :)

[Ruth]

Beautiful! I like a good ramble...it inspires, it shares and helps others feel not so alone in the begrudging cold...I tend to struggle with the cold and winter if I am honest...so I shall gladly take a seat and share a coffee lol

However, for all those feelings and memories, this time of year being hard for so many...the last paragraph here made me smile...those bells still ring, life goes on and we do find a moment to breathe and warm up...again...

I really enjoyed this hon...pleasure to share your thoughts and nostalgia and hell....next time, I may even pause with some mulled wine LOL

x

[Lucifer Jones]

This is #4 for me... I try not to count anymore, but we do don't we? I am so glad you enjoyed it. I'll be sure and save you a seat with Me, Beth and Chris. We'll make snow angels later and listen to the bells.

[Ruth]

Ah, good idea...and only the 4th? Damn, mines the 10th ;) lol

[Lucifer Jones]

Yeah only the 4th. And Thank you so very much. ;)

[Ruth]

My pleasure hon :)

[Tennessee]

I like this kid. We do tend to look back on the year around this time and as I do this...I hope I never repeat some of the f*****g mistakes i've made this year. But I'm glad I fucked up, gives me a reason to drink right? Ha, I loved your use of words, mire and sty. It just makes it stand out more. I can hear the bells as well. And nice tree, I'm sure it is very colorful.

[Lucifer Jones]

Thank you so much Tenn... Glad to see you roaming the shelves.

[Muse]

I love this "because I know this is your tree" this picture you share....it is so very stunning...standing tall in all of it's bright glory. These Christmas trees....with glimmering lights that parade our walls, hypnotized by child-like thoughts...sometimes if lucky...for a brief moment or two...I feel like I'm ten again. I can smile. But it always fades as quickly as it comes. I often feel cold to the bone.

[Lucifer Jones]

I think I'm going to leave the tree up this year... I have an idea that if I simply swap out the ornaments for more seasonal fare I can maybe prolong the feeling and maybe infect some others with my sick concept of maybe being human and loving year round... what do ya think?

[Lucifer Jones]

And by the way... You should be familiar with who was on the couch(not literally... duh) and the troubled wine... I smile and thank you. Feel free to grab a coffee and warm up anytime there's always some damn bells around the sandbox.

[Muse]

I imagine us all circling around a sand box...our toes buried beneath the sand...holding hands and singing Kumbaya...in the back ground Santa's bells are ringing. "LOL...this quirky thought...it makes me feel deranged."

[Lucifer Jones]

*laughing uncontrollably* Bah... Deranged? I have NIN playing in mine and it's a fine damn picture... But then again I've never shied from that label

[Muse]

"bats eyelashes"

Kumbaya my Lord, kumbaya
Kumbaya my Lord, kumbaya
Kumbaya my Lord, kumbaya
Oh Lord, kumbaya

Someone's singing Lord, kumbaya
Someone's singing Lord, kumbaya
Someone's singing Lord, kumbaya
Oh Lord, kumbayah

Someone's laughing, Lord, kumbaya
Someone's laughing, Lord, kumbaya
Someone's laughing, Lord, kumbaya
Oh Lord, kumbaya

[Lucifer Jones]

* head in hands snorting* Ok... Is it wrong that I'd want to change the lyrics a bit?

bells are ringing Lord, kumbaya... maybe some coffee brewing Lord, kumbaya... no crying or stewing Lord, kumbaya... oh Lord kumbaya...
everything in our house devolves to monkeys and trouble at some point...