The Star

She was a childhood star, and that is all that people saw. until he came along.

Author's Note

Please review!

Reviews

[Hannah Monttkomepy]

Well, like always, I liked your story. I think it's a normal thing for me now, to like stuff you write. I did take notes while I was listening to it though so here they are.


-I think you should make the background music blend more. It just seems like it's there and then it's gone. Maybe you could fade it out or something.

-I loved how you said that her status as a superstar helped her avoid a stronger punishment and her agent, lawyer, and mother said she did nothing wrong cause that's exactly the way everything happens.

-I think from the court scene to the story about her life never being normal, there should be some sorta phrase or something that connects the two. To me it just seems like you're going from one idea to another with no connection. Or you could just make the pause longer. Maybe that would work...

-I love the whole everyone thought I was living a fairytale but really it was a nightmare.

-I became bored while listening to this. Nothing really caught my attention and make me wanna hear more. A way I'd make it more interesting is to sorta have an all-knowing narrator, and include the character's thoughts.

-I really need emotion in writing. Your's had it in words but not in your voice. The emotion needs to be in your voice since you are recording it. Emotion flys off the words in written stories and poetry, so now the emotion needs to fly off your voice.

-Another thing, there really isn't a climax. A climax would make the story sooooo much more interesting.

-And finally. I loved the ending, Just loved it.


I hope this helps =D Overall, very nice job.

[Stacey Watts]

It is always such an escape to listen to your work. I liked this the thoughts that a famous person might have. Excellent job. This was very romantic and such a sweet story. You did well. Thank you for sharing this brilliant piece.

[lindsay]

How wonderful! I really enjoyed listening to this story. Although I did find myself drifting at times, that is just how I am, I am a visual learning. Regardless of that, I thought the story was really great and I love the opening lines=]

[Nicole E. Belle]

Love the background music! Once again, the narration was very well done. I liked the use of little details like "the chocolate milk commercial," although a few things could be a bit more specific (such as the reference to the "perfect" motorcycles - what makes them perfect, for those of us who know nothing about them? color, size, speed?) and the dialogue was really quite realistic. I did want a bit more conflict as Lara realizes that she's a normal person despite her job - although she seemed a bit confused at first to be treated so normally by Barry and his mother, she accepted it quite easily - and without the little introduction that tells us she is used to be being treated like a star, she really doesn't act like that's what she's used to. That being said, I loved the ending and the whole piece was overall enjoyable - good job!

[Poetic Injustice]

I enjoyed this, immensely. I like your decision to orate (something I might loather to try - I detest the sound of my own voice).

[Sseoni]

What an awesome story! I loved it! It was so cute! Your story had a great plot, wonderful details and descriptions! LxB forever! :D

[gonebabygone]

I wasn't expecting the story to be in audio format, and although I liked it, I almost didn't "listen" to it. Very well done, although I would have preferred it to be in written form. As far as the story itself, it does make you think about what's important and what's not.

[Mark]

The stripping away of our facades is without exception the hardest and most painful thing any of us can do. Having spent our entire lives accumulating wealth, lavishing in praise, pontificating profoundly, makes it easy to assume those roles are who we actually are. If Lara was not especially profound, yet she was wealthy and adored, and nobody was willing to allow her to be her authentic self, outside those characters she was compelled to inhabit...until Barry. When she finally saw how good it felt to be human, rather than iconic--an icon after all is but a representation, is it not?--her die was cast. If Barry was authentic, he owed it to Janice. If Janice was authentic, she owed it to her deadbeat husband leaving, compelling her to join the blue-collar world, and learn what real live and real values are, what matters and what can be let go. So, tragedy sets the stage for triumph, and The Plan procedes apace! Very thoughtful work, Lucien!

[Rae]

I really like the story but I kind of wanted to READ it instead of listen to it.

[Phibby Venable]

this is a wonderful story..i love the way he regards her as a human being& her
gratitude that someone finally Sees her!
I like the characters, they seem very real and the dialogue moves along
smoothly. Overall, very fine job!!