Hiding The Pain WIth A Mirror

Just a little poem I came up with, Thought I would actually try ryhming this time. Hope you get the message with in it.

 

She is on a ball-n-chain,

Hiding her sorrow and pain,

With make-up and a mirror,

He is her personal killer.

 

She is trapped.

She can not get out.

Out of his game.

Away from the shame.

 

When you look into her eyes,

Do you see the pain she tries to disguise?

Her soul so full of sorrow

Her emotions all hollow.

 

He is her torment.

Makes her go dorment.

He wants her to die.

This is her demise.

 

She throws out fake smiles.

But the happiness is quickly going out of style.

She covers up her pain in the mirror.

To make her torment a little less clearer.

 

He pushes her to the ground.

She lies there with no sound.

She takes the pain he throws her way.

To dream of happiness one more day.

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Ignore any grammar problems please. :P Tried my mind at rhyming.

Reviews

[Titus McGuire]

Perhaps I am wrong, but this almost sounds like it could be about an abusive relationship. The concept reminds me a bit of the song 'Luka' by Suzanne Vega. Many times people have a public face they wear to hide their scars, physical or mental, from the world, and many times they feel trapped within their relationships, scared to find a way out. The face in the mirror is a masque, the reflection what she wants the outside world to see, and the more she puts on this facade, the more she tries to believe it herself.

'She throws out fake smiles.
But the happiness is quickly going out of style.
She covers up her pain in the mirror.
To make her torment a little less clearer.'

The facade is wearing thin, but she continues to try, perhaps even harder than before.

'She takes the pain he throws her way.
To dream of happiness one more day.'

The pain seems endless, and perhaps will never end, but she clings to the hope that it will pass, that one day all her pain will have been worth the effort and that she will know happiness.

I'm not sure if this was the idea you had meant to portray, but this is what I got from this piece.

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

You did well in rhyming in this poem, there were fresh and orginal lines. Nicelyu done.

Thanks for entering my contest and the best of luck.

[The Mad Prophet]

I like mirrors, as mirrors are like the mind. One like to see themselves in a mirror, another ones mind. If there is similarities, they are happy. Lets say the mirror is broken, then you can not see yourself in that mirror, what good is it to you? You share a broken mind, and your poetry is very well inwrapped in that.

Very well done, very well expressed. I am putting this with the other mirror poems I liked.