chapter one

 Chapter one

Alex's POV

 

Not only is his arm around me but the tense that meant he wants to hold on tighter.

And I learn, well, is to tug on his arm, allowing him to hold me as much firmness as he pleases.

My lips together pierced.

My eyes widening to their full capacity.

Yes.

This was one of those times when I hated being in public with passion.

A small crowd surrounded the two of us, settling their attention towards me.

He was now slowly sllipping away from me.

It was just killing me.

He grabs my shoulders roughly.

Yeah I know.

I should have been used to this but I was not.

It was like something new each time.

“Come on, go ahead!” one of them seemed to demand.

“Wait!” I struggled from his grasp “Don’t!”

They all smiled smugly.

I could see it didn’t make a difference.

He still grabbed me from behind.

His chest against my back.

His arms, cradling around mine.

And then, with the slightest detail, he seizes me gently.

Though I know he’s focusing on the dumpster, his eyes travel towards me with a rapid movement.

Then it happened once again.

He had thrown me into the metal compartment with ease.

I heard laughs.

I forced myself to keep calm.

I was losing my patience.

Well, I did have that right.

They left, still laughing along the lines of a good torture.

Clumsily, I lifted myself from the dumpster and onto the cement ground.

I snatched up my backpack that I had previously put down for safeguarding.

Then I walked.

That’s all I needed to do.

To live and forget.

It wasn’t long for me to hear a voice.

His voice.

Just as I had found myself alone in the dark space of the empty classroom.

“Alex.” He called

I ignored.

He persisted.

“Alex”

This time, he captures my hand, pulling me towards him.

Making me face him as well, he placed his right hand on my cheek, stroking it gently.

“I’m sorry”

Those words.

Not new to me.

They seemed to be coming more and more often.

When would they stop?

I took a step back.

No use.

He drawed me right back to him.

“Don’t to this”

My words seemed to sound inconvincibly, not even myself had believed them.

He kissed me.

I had mad myself not reply.

He broke it, leaning his forehead against mine.

“I’m sorry.” he repeated.

The bell rings.

“I-I’ve got to go to class.”

We loitered for a slight second, before he unwillingly released me.

He let me walk away.

Again.

With the words.

“I’m sorry.”

.

Now.

You might have been asking yourself.

Who is he?

Well, I’ll get you to that.

His name is Matt Hudson.

17 year’s old.

Currently the captain of the football team.

One of the most popular guy’s in school.

Piercing brown eyes that could make you dream for days.

A smile to die for.

Supposed ladies man.

And a coward.

Yes.

All true.

And me?

Let’s just say I’m none of those things.

Well, I am 17.

My name is Alexander Temp.

I attend drama classes after school.

There is just something on acting that is, I don’t know, peaceful.

Anyways.

My eyes.

Blue.

Actually, they’re the only thing I like about myself.

The only thing mom and me have in common.

Well, had.

.

If she was here it would be different.

She always got me, you know.

When I’d get home from school, she would greet me with a gently kiss on the forehead.

Of course, only if dad wasn’t home because then he would have grumble something about making the soft or what not.

But yes.

I would force a smile and go up to my room and she’d let me, knowing me to need my space.

But after a while I would find her on the couch.

That blue scarf I had always love, wrapped around her head keeping the dark hair to fall down to her eyes as she read.

“Hey, Cookie.” She’d grind.

That was she used to call me.

Cookie.

She would move over just enough to invite me and I would sit down next to her, as she brushed my hair from my face.

And so the tears would come.

And of course, I would be embarrassed, knowing I was far too old for this sort of thing.

But I would lay my cheek on her lap just the same.

She’d put her book across the arm of the couch and would rub my arm with one gentle hand.

“What’s wrong with my guy?” she would ask.

“Boy trouble” I would say through a teary smile and she would laugh.

I would never have to tell her because she would have always known.

“I’m lucky” She’d say, stroking my hair.

I wouldn’t even care if it got mussed.

She would continue.

“Not many moms get this opportunity with their sons. Who is he? I’ll run him over.”

This would make me laugh against my will.

“That’s okay mom, no need for that.”

“Oh, honey” She’d coo and so I would feel the tension and sustaining of my constant bravado slip away. “I know it’s hard to be young, especially if you’re different and in a town like this.”

By now the sadness would have left.

The hitching sobs would have changed into shaky but steady breaths and I would feel myself grow tired, warm, safe and adored.

So, I would gently, slip away from her lap.

“I love you, mom” I would say, placing a small peck on her cheek.

She would smile and reply as well “Love you too, Cookie.”

.

“I love you, mom” I whispered as I realised I had said it out loud.

My shirt was wrinkling and tears had gotten on my jacket.

I could feel my room colder than ever before but I kept my position.

Laying on the bed, arms crossed pulling my chins over my chest, as I closed my eyes and whispered.

“Goodnight, mom” 

 

Author's Note

hmmm be nice?XD

Reviews

[~Dreamer~]

This is a great piece of writing you are so talented. You really described the difficulty of sexual identity and thats great I have a hard time writing about that. this is just a great story Hope to read more :)

[LinBin]

This is a brilliant piece of writing for so many reasons; a lot of young people who are battling with their sexual identity will often try to project themselves as something different from what they actually are in front of the so called ''straight crowds''.....( some of whom will no doubt be sexually confused themselves or identify inwardly as gay or bi but outwardly as straight....) the sad thing is if we all just lived honestly and was allowed to do so without fear or intimidation it would be a much better world and young people would not feel the need to live in shame or shadows.....love is love....simple as that.....and your words capture the confusion and emptiness of living half a life very well ......well done x

[?]

i really like it, it was really good.

[~LoveMeBoldly~]

I spotted a few tiny errors that aren't that big of a deal but other then that the grammar and stuff seems pretty good. I'm not used to this type of writing but I got to say it's very refreshing! I feel really back for Alex but the way you word the text... it sounds... how to I say it? kinda like I'm actually in his mind? anyways! I enjoyed this a lot good job

[Red Brick Keshner]

As with the previous comment. Waiting for the next chapters.

[Eidolon Michael]

Very nice beginning to a story. It really pulled me in and made me want to read more. Good work ^_^