Hidden fears

Alex and Max bond over common aspects of their life, but do they really?

There were ten rooms for training in total. It seems that the one Max showed them the first day was only for introductory purposes. Today they went with the others to the designated rooms. Each room had eleven rows for shooting. The newcomers had to find someone more advanced to help adjust the guns and firing range for target practice. Zack and Edward had no problem finding one. And the guns seemed to be perfectly fit for their hands. They probably already had a pretty good idea of how to handle guns. 

The one in trouble was Alex. He was not troubled by Max dragging him along, he was happy to be able to talk to her more. She seemed to be an interesting person. And that constant smile helped him feel calm. But something deep inside him said that something was off with that smile. 

Max left him alone right before the training started and he was at a loss. To begin with, he was introverted and was uncomfortable around strangers. He was given a simple pistol by the instructor after he gave him a lecture on responsibility and reliability, because Alex forgot to bring his own gun, and was placed in front of a target. The instructor adjusted the target for the beginner and left him alone. He had to find someone to help him with the rest. 

It seemed Alex knew how to hold, load and use the semi-automatic SIG Pro pistol. Everyone around him was shooting and the loud noises made him nervous. He had to do something, because they estimate the points by the targets. He lifted the pistol, held it with both hands, but couldn’t shoot. His hands were terribly shivering. His heart beat sped up and he couldn’t concentrate. Alex felt as if it was suffocating him. Just about when his eyes turned watery and he was ready to give up, a warm small hand adjusted to his fingers. He felt someone standing behind him. 

“Calm down. Don’t pay attention to your surroundings. Just concentrate on the target. Hold it firmly and pull the trigger.”

And it went off. The recoil effect pushed his hands and he fell back just to be caught by Max.

“Nice one,” she smiled. “You hit the head!”

Alex was aiming for the shoulder…

After that Max stood next to him and released a round at her target. She made a circle in the center of the target with her revolver. There were six little precise holes in a completely symmetrical circle around the marked heart of the target. Then she took out the other gun. Alex couldn’t recognize the model. She then released exactly ten rounds and stopped. She left the spot to load her guns and met the same difficulty.

“Why don’t you write it down?” Alex asked.

“Oh. I don’t know. I always think that this time I’ll get it right, but I just can’t remember which one is which,” she smiled wider, but Alex saw sadness deep in her eyes. 

After loading her guns, she put them back in the holders on her waist and looked at the boy.

“You should probably keep shooting. I’ll stay here and help.”

“Thank you.”

“Hey!” a low, but loud voice shouted out to them. “Why do you keep wasting bullets like that? Why can’t you just get the hell out of here?”

A scary looking man was shouting at Max and she was still smiling, but her face looked a bit troubled. It seemed that this kind of situation occurred couple of times before.

“Look, you lazy a*s canoe, I don’t care what you think. I come here as all of you.”

“What did you say?” the man flared up.

“Oh man, this dicknose prick is deaf.”

Some others started to murmur, the shooting stopped and now everyone in the room concentrated on them.

“You piece of s**t, no one cares that you can shoot empty bullets. No one likes you, so why don’t you just die?” the man drew his gun out.

“See, Red, this ugly s**t knob wants me to die. I get this a lot,” she giggled. “The thing is, if you shoot me, you’re going to the solitary. And one more thing, no one cares what you think, pompous s**t.”

“You-” the man aimed at Max, but he was too slow.

The girl was already near him with the revolver rammed into his lower jaw. The hammer was pulled down and the finger was on the trigger. 

“You wanna go, pie-eating b***h socket?”

“Hey, what is going on in here?” one of the instructors showed up and pulled them both away from each other. He said nothing to the man, but he turned to Max and roared “Six, leave. Now.”

Max put her gun back and frowned. She looked at the instructor and put that smile back on her face. Then unfazed walked back to the red haired boy and asked him to concentrate on the shooting.  The instructor was clearly troubled and wanted to make his dominance evident, however he realized he’s no match for the Devil of the school so he shook his head and did not ask her to leave again. As long as she doesn’t cause any more of the commotion, he was fine with it. The other students resumed with their target practice, and the one who had problem with Max was furiously shooting randomly, painfully missing the mark.

“Is it really alright?” Alex asked. 

“Yeah, don’t sweat. That happens all the time. They’re just jealous because I shoot better than them,” she smiled widely ignoring the grunts behind her. 

Some of the other students were still on about how they can’t stand the girl, but she seemed to be perfectly ignorant of that. And the instructor ordered everyone to concentrate on the targets in front of them and mind their own business. 

As Max proceeded to help Alex to get a better grip, she noticed the hidden fear in his eyes surface. With every round leaving the cartridge Max noticed how he winced, closed his eyes or held his breath. She observed him for couple more rounds and then made sure she was right. Max then pressed closer to the boy and whispered her question, no smile on her lips.

“What happened?”

Alex barely heard her with all the shooting and mufflers around his ears. But he did hear her. The question was " what was she asking about.

“Your eyes. They’re either scared shitless or closed. Are you scared of guns? If so, then why are you here?” Max ignored the sounds and continued to barrage him with questions. “Or are you afraid of the sound? Tell me.”

The boy slightly shook and Max noticed the disturbance in his face and his shaky hands. Her eyes went a bit dim and she stepped away from him.

“Hey, teach, can we leave early. He doesn’t feel too good.”

The instructor nodded and Max walked Alex out of the training room. 

“Water?”

“Yes…”

They walked to the dining hall and got some water as well as something to chew on.  Max led him to the farthest corner and sat him down. She pierced him through with her flaming gaze, dark brown eyes boring into him painfully while waiting for him to calm down. She was waiting for an explanation and answers. 

“Um… I don’t feel comfortable talking about it,” Alex finally said.

“It’s a shooting school. If you’re so scared why didn’t you take knives?”

“I… I don’t like guns of any sort.”

Max moved swiftly drawing her revolver out of the holder and pointing it at the boy. She smiled devilishly and seemed serious. Alex flinched and tried to move away, but she cornered him. The only thing left for him to do was close his eyes and expect the best. 

“You’ve seen someone been shot before. Someone died, right?”

Alex opened his eyes in surprise and couldn’t believe the thing he saw. He saw something shift in her face, but the smile remained. For the first time he saw that the smile was forced, fake…

“What happened?” girl repeated her previous question.

“Gang raid,” he answered unwillingly, as if by accident, and turned from her to hide the recurring horror in his face as little droplets formed in corners of his eyes. 

“Which gang?” she couldn’t read the situation, it seemed.

She finally understood or maybe got tired of staring at a face which wanted nothing to do with her at that moment and put her gun back. She sat back in her chair, elbow supporting her weight on the table and looked blankly at the wall. 

“Mine was underground business company, involved in drugs and human trafficking. You could say they were mafia group. My dad somehow got involved with them. So he, mom, my little sister and big brother, and our dog were shot to their heads, splattering their brains all around the floor. I was at my gramps for the day…” she smiled the whole time. 

Alex’s face had trails of tears flowing down his cheeks as he listened to her. It reminded him too much of his family and the tragedy that this girl was talking so easily about. His chest hurt so much, heart thudding into overdrive, he needed a contact with someone right now, otherwise he thought he would get a panic attack. 

Max saw the horror in his eyes and moved in for the hug. Her warmth seeped in and made him feel at ease eventually. He smelled the metallic scent that guns have after shooting, but it kind of made her even more soothing, comforting. He pressed his own hands to her back and refused to let go. The tears still fell and he sniffled. Max silently giggled asking not to leave snot on her. It made the boy smile unconsciously. After a little while he finally pulled his arms away and Max moved back. 

“Feeling better?”

Alex nodded and wiped his face with the back of his hand. 

“How old were you?”

“Twelve.”

Alex didn’t look too surprised or more like he didn’t feel pity for her. He thought of something that made his eyes cloud. 

“How old were you?”

Alex jumped in surprise this time. He stared at her blankly for couple of minutes and she patiently waited with that fake smile, which didn’t look faked anymore, on her face.

“… Seven.”

“Everyone?”

He only nodded.

“Well, that’s bad, then. It sucks to be so small and weak. I hated it too. But, it’s not that bad, what do ya say?”

“What can be so good about that?” Alex whispered so quietly, he thought she wouldn’t hear him.

“I dunno. Maybe that you’re still alive and kickin’,” she said and bit down on the cookie.

It was almost time for lunch and other students were slowly flooding into the dining hall. Max looked around and saw the other two new guys. She debated with herself for a bit and then stood up, asked the boy to wait there and merrily skipped to the counter for food. Alex watched her as she bumped into his friends and laughingly had a short conversation. After a while, he saw her pointing to his direction and Edward proceeded to walk his way with two trays of food. Zack were waiting for his and still conversing with the hyperactive girl. 

“How was it?” asked Edward, while settling down.

“Horrible. I could not be there too long. My hands are still shaky.”

“That’s why I don’t get why you were sent here with us. We can handle this without you just fine.”

“Commander said that I had to go. That was an order,” the boy whispered, because he saw the two approaching. 

“Oh, secrets. I like secrets!” Max was too enthusiastic. 

“None of your business, though,” Edward hissed.

“I don’t want to fight with you, s****y trash bin, but if you start it, I’m game.”

“Stop it,” Zack spoke up. “Both of you.”

They ate for a while in silence. But then Zack spoke up again.

“Where were you last night? We didn’t see you here at dinner. And then you kind of slammed your door…”

“Wozzhy,” said with full mouth of macaroni with cheese.

“What do you mean “busy”? Were you shooting?”

Her eyes for some reason went wide, as if he caught her lying and hit the nail guessing on what she was doing.

“You’re allowed to use the training rooms that late?”

“Oh,” after a moment of screeching silence, “…yeah, I am.”

“Why? Or are you actually shooting empty bullets?”

“I’m not! Why would I? I just like shooting a lot.”

“How can anyone like shooting that much?” Edward flared up. “Are you some kind of a maniac running around killing people?!”

Zack gave him a warning glance and he shut his mouth so strongly that there was only a line left. Alex looked at him worried and then glanced at Max who was not even giving a second thought about his words. It did not affect her, not even a bit. 

Max showed no interest in them now. She stuffed the left macaroni like there was no tomorrow. One would think she was famished, but it was not so, so what made her so hurried? 

As Alex was going to comment something, the speakers in the all four corners of the hall beeped and the loud voice appeared.

“Student number 666 is required at the headmaster’s office immediately.”

Max drank her tea and finished the meal, put it all into the tray and scurried off. 

“Well that was odd…” noted Zack and finished his own meal. “Anyway, what do we do now? We have almost four hours till supper.”

“I say we scatter and check some stuff out. There won’t be a problem, right?” 

“I assume, you mean, that if we’re caught, we won’t be regarded as threat?”

“Yeah. We’re new here. Don’t know a s**t about this place. So why not?”

Zack pondered for a while. “All right, let’s do that. I’ll check the main building. Edward, you take the training grounds. Alex, the dorm is all yours.”

Meanwhile, Max was strutting to the office, softly humming some melody and flailing her arms to the rhythm. She hopped up the stairs and entered the headmaster’s office without a knock. 

“Well?”

“It’s all done. Everything was quiet. Those stupid little s***s-” she stopped later than she should have. Professor gave her displeased stare, but nodded to continue. “Well, it doesn’t matter. So all is good. Any more requests?”

“For now, not. Good job, Six. Oh, and… don’t get into fights. You know I don’t like it.”

“So you saw that… haha…” she faked her laugh. “He started it, though. I was just shooting. And not to waste more bullets for this I just-”

“Enough. I don’t need your excuses. You may leave now. Be good girl.”

“Yes…”

She left with her head hanging low. Her smile dropped completely and she looked tired. So tired that it appeared she would just pass out right here in the hall, just outside the office. She touched her forehead to the cold wall and leaned on it for a while muttering something under her breath. Her fingers were clenched into fists and her muscles were slightly trembling. 

“When will this end?” she whispered in trembling voice.

Then as suddenly as she slumped she straightened out and beamed the same wide radiant smile out. She went outside to play in the snow, which was so rare in these parts of the country she couldn’t pass up the opportunity. She made small snow balls and threw them far aiming randomly at passing students. Her actions actually started an elaborate snow war and about twenty to thirty students had some fun that afternoon.