Exiled

 

"But you promised!"

"I know."

"You promised to take me to the most beautiful beach!"

I kept silent.

"So we can't stay together, can we?" she asked.

"No!"

"Why?"

This phone call is still stuck in my head.

I was imprisoned for five years, six months, and two days. In prison, you learn to count each day and each moment. You even count the bad 'meals' and the unbearable ones you had there.  When I was released I needed time to adapt to my new status as a released prisoner. The world changes but only the world outside.

Prisoners Club invited me to their meetings that aimed to help the freed prisoners. To help us adjust. I went their only once and it was enough.

She works as a volunteer in Prisoners Club. I knew her brother. He died in prison. When she knew that he was in my cell, she asked if I could tell her about her brother. I accepted. After a while she asked me if she could make documentaries about the prisoners' cause. She kept asking me during interviews and short films but when it was my time to ask I asked for her hand.

She has always been fascinated by the skies, seas, and every living being that flies up in the skies or swims in the blue waters. She has always coveted to be a bird or a fish so she could fly or swim freely. She also loved looking at the stars and wished to sit on a beautiful beach so I promised her to take her to the most beautiful beach on our honeymoon.

"I will take you to the Riviera," I started trying to impress her.

"Which one?"

"Is there more than one Riviera?!" I asked embarrassed.

"Yes, but I'd like to go to the French Riviera!"

"Do you think we'll live to see our own Riviera?" I asked after a minute of silence.

"We would have if they hadn't taken everything that is beautiful from us!"

"Not everything!" I corrected. I continued, "I wouldn't trade this moment for anything!"

"Not even for the moment of our liberation?!"

At that moment, I knew she always put the love of our country before me. I even sometimes thought that she loved me because I was a prisoner, a part of the cause. I wasn't surprised I didn't come first. I would do the same too.

It was only my second day of strike in prison when her brother asked me. "Isn't there a better way to fight?"

"Is there any other way?!"

"Not here. Not inside"

"But you know we might die of hunger, right?"

"We won't be the first ones."

"I'm afraid we won't be the last ones!"

"But it's a glorious way to die!"

"It's a glorious way to fight."

My strike lasted for seventy two days but his didn't last for more than five. He was very ill and he received little medical attention. His health didn't allow him to strike for more days. Nine days later he died.

What he and others had done showed me that there might be things dearer to your heart than anyone in this world.

Her honesty has always impressed me and I was graced to be a part of her life, even if I was for only a short period of time. We were engaged for only twenty two days and it was my decision to break out engagement.

We are accustomed to lose the things we love and the persons we adore but that doesn't change the fact that loss hurts, even if your whole life was a loss.

It was almost noon when an intelligence officer of the occupation came to the place where I used to work, a small plants nursery. We were inside the small greenhouse when he started, "Your fiancé won't stop, will she?"

He was talking about her videos and reports that exposed many of their crimes, especially against the prisoners.

There were two soldiers inside the greenhouse with him. The first was shorter than the average. He had pale skin, brown eyes and an aquiline nose. The other soldier was very tall and of colored skin. The two soldiers wore helmets so I couldn't see how their hair looked like. The officer on the other hand, had a bright, golden hair and deep blue eyes.

I looked directly at his eyes and replied, "She's a grown person. She can do whatever she likes,"

"Not if her dear husband tells her to stop!"

"Fiancé, I'm her fiancé. We are not married."

"And you'll never be!" he quietly said while leaning to a flower and smelling it.

I stood speechless until he met my eyes again.

"Okay!" I said while putting my hands in front of him so he could handcuff me.

"You are not going in, you are going out." he said.

"Exile?"

"Yes. And you both may get married but in that case she will be exiled with you too!"

The officer picked a rose and left.

I went to my fiancé's house to tell her father about my exile, face to face.

"If we get married she would never be able to come here again!" I told him.

"She loves you!"

"But there are things that she loves more than she loves me!"

He kept silent and I left.

While I was packing I called her, "Hello!"

"Hey!"

"Did he tell you?"

"He did," she said and I could hear her sobbing.

"I'm sorry!" I apologized.

"But you promised!"

"I know."

"You promised to take me to the most beautiful beach!"

I kept silent.

"So we can't stay together, can we?" she asked.

"No!"

"Why?"

I knew the answer then but I didn't say it. I agreed with her father that he won't tell her about my exile until I leave the country. I left.

I am now here crossing the border to another country, to my exile.

There are countless travellers but few counters where employees work to have our papers done. I have to wait for my role. I have ticket number 48.

The electronic board beeps �" 46 to counter 2. Another minute, it beeps again - 47 to counter 1. Few seconds �" 48 to counter 3. 48. That's me. That's us!