Melody One

  "Grab me a napkin, please?" I asked. I was sitting with my friends Melissa and Zoey. Zoey reached over.
 I took the napkin from her hand. We were at the ice cream shop, Scooter's, reunited probably for the last time. Well, at least for a while.
  "I don't like it," I said bluntly. "This sucks."
 "What?" Melissa snapped, slightly annoyed. When she was confused, she got irritated. She started grumbling to herself. Something about her being to fat.
 "This," I said waving my arms around. I almost dropped my ice cream doing that. I'm smart. Tee hee. "All of it. We're leaving each other!"
 "Well, Mel and I won't be," Zoey reminded me. She licked her cone daintily. "We're going to the same high school."
 Three's a crowd. And I've always been the odd one out in this one, just dragged along instead of invited.
 As if I needed more reminders. All these two could talk about for the past three months is how excited they are for both going to Rivercrest, and how isn't it just great that they're in the same classes first semester?
 But anyways, it would be just my luck that I actually got accepted into the performing arts boarding school, Prescott's, with a full scholarship "too good to pass up," as my Mother put it. I had to audition for it, and I guess they liked my voice.
 Not that I needed it. When my Mother was younger, she modeled in America. Nothing serious, just little things here and there. But she saved all of the money, over two-million (I know from snooping. Tee hee.) and still hasn't used it.
 "I'm investing it in your future, Spade," she would say. "I want you to go to a good college and be successful."
 What kind of college costs 2 million dollars? Exactly my point.
 And anyways, I wasn't planning on going to college. At least, not right away. I want to focus on my currently nonexistent singing career. I'm only 14, anyhow.
 But sitting here at Scooter's, I wonder if I really am 14. Like, mentally. Because when I'm around Zoey and Melissa, I feel so small. Most likely because they're mature 14 year olds, and they're acting passive because they want me to see how most teenagers act. They're just so caring, in that way. Right?
 "We're going to miss you." Melissa said. There was something in her voice, something I couldn't quite catch. I let it go.
 "Yeah," agreed Zoey. "You do know that, don't you?"
 I thought about this. Would these two really miss me? The two that only remembered to invite me along if it was convenient?  The two who always forgot to tag me in their Facebook statuses? That two who smoothly forgot to tell me it was purple day, and we should all match? The two who, yes, even told me I couldn't really sing?
 Yes, the two would miss me. Because despite our ups and downs, we were best friends.
 As I sat there, though, watching Zo and Mel pick at their sundaes, I wasn't so sure.
 "Yes," I said, answering Zoey's long forgotten question. "I do know."
 But they weren't listening.





The conversations of people passing by buzzed in my ears. Today was the day I was leaving to go to Prescott's. The drive was 7 hours, 2 and a half on plane.

 "Now listen," Mother started. "I've packed all of your things, so don't call me asking for any items." She was always so clean and cut with things, my mother. Never wanting to do the unnecessary.

 "I also color coordinated everything, labeled what perfumes to use for certain events, and packed 27 scented candles in case your new roommate smells like she doesn't clean herself daily. Okay?"

 "Okay," I answered. I almost wanted to laugh at the roommate comment, but I stopped myself.

 Zoey and Melissa were standing off to the side, looking bored. I expected them to be near tears about me leaving, but they weren't. In fact, the moment we found out about my departure, they didn't show any emotion, probably trying to look tough for me. And here I was, telepathically begging them to act like babies when they don't get their bottles in time.

 I walked over to them. They looked surprised to see me.

 "I guess this is it," I said.

 "Yep," they said in unison.

  "I really am going to miss you guys."

 "Ditto." Unison again.

 Now I just kind of stood there, awkwardly. I felt like something else should be done or said by them, but immediately dismissed the though. I was expecting too much, being to demanding.

 I stared at them now, trying to engrave their faces in my mind. Zoey was gorgeous , in a red-head way. Her flaming hair was always in loose waves, due to chemical alteration. She claims they're natural, but they're not. I saw her walk into the hairdressers' one day, before her hair was done. Frizz Mania.

 I focused on Melissa now. She was gorgeous, in a girl-next-door way. Her honey blonde hair always looked as if the sun gave it warmth personally, and her body was a teenage boy's dream. But she wore padded bras. Once, I accidentally found her bra drawer at her house looking for a pencil. For some reason, it makes me smile when I know she's not perfect.

 And me? I wasn't ugly or beautiful, just odd-looking. Unlike Zo and Mel, lucky b*****s, I had the standard Asian eye, but one eye was mint green and the other blue. If there's one thing that matches about my eye, it's that they shades are both pale. A weak link, but you take your pleasures when you can.

 And my hair wouldn't exactly be called trendy, I guess, but I liked it. Razor-cut bangs with jet-black hair that started off as straight, but after about 9 inches went into soft ringlets to my waist. It's crazy long, but it's mine.

 My ears are so small that you can't see them behind my hair, but my nose is a little on the big side. I was blessed, thank God, with straight teeth and full lips (better for kissing, I guess, if I ever even get kissed), but my cheeks look as if I have one Oreo in each side.

 But here's the shocker; I'm Black.

 It's never really bothered me, though. I've always been a little weird, looks wise. I guess when you see something on someone on a daily basis, you get used to it being there.

 Like Zoey and Melissa. What was I going to do without them? We've known each other since 2nd grade and been friends since 6th.

 And we have some pretty good memories. Like the time we went to D.C. (they kept walking away from me, resulting in a search for them every 5 minutes), when we snuck into some B-List sophomore's party (they left early without me and I had to walk home), and even when we tried out for cheerleading (they made it; I didn't).

 But those memories made me who I am today. And I'm a good person. I think.

Author's Note

It gets better, I promise!

Reviews

[LeaflessTree]

Super clique stuff! You're a mediocre writer. Sorry, but I don't like it that much.... It's to "teenage hormonal". The idea is original. What you're writing honey is what you need to understand. "Once, I accidentally found her bra drawer at her house looking for a pencil. For some reason, it makes me smile when I think she's not perfect." ~ Teenage ish~ It may be just me that I'm used to adult writing myself or could just be that I don't like this type of writing. THE IDEA IS ORIGINAL HONEY. I'm not saying your a bad writer, I'm saying, watch the wrods you use. Use bigger words, words that appeal to the senses and use a hook at the beginning of your story!

[Singer-Songwriter - Miya]

Hello :-) My name is Miya and I like your comment, can you please give me some advice on what I am writing. I am not a native speaker, but I had tried my best :-) Thank you!

[Raspberry Rebel]

I thouroughly enjoyed this...I think you are writing as a 14 yr old would...I laughed at the scented candle bit...I shall be continuing with your story, you've got me wanting to know what happens next...keep it up.
When I write a story, I always put it to bed for awhile then go back to it later with fresh eyes...You can always add bits or say things differently that might not have presented themselves at the time of writing, always keep reviewing and if and when neccesary re-writing :)

[Kara A. Laughard]

I think you have the potential for something here, but you need to lengthen your sentences a bit - - combine two or three in a way that makes sense, and use different words. Use too many details; more than you think you need. You know what the scene looks like in your head but the reader needs guided. You can always edit some of them out later. Describe the scenes down to how something feels, smells, looks and then relate that to how it effects the character.

[Suzy Q]

When people say that your writing seems too "teenage" like, well the narrator did say that she was a little less "mature" than her friends, so technically it's expected for her to speak like that.
Not that everyone doesn't have the right to their own opinion. They do. It just so happens that mine is that this wasn't awful. Not perfect. But not bad.

[Singer-Songwriter - Miya]

Hello ^_^ can you give me some advice on my book?

Miya

[Suzy Q]

Well this was a LONG time ago, but if you still want advice, I'm here for you!

[Ruth]

Well thought out and can stir interest love...never listen to what other people may judge too harshly...you need to write for yourself...nobody else...we all learn that LOL Great work xx

[Droll Prole]

This was so easy to read, it just flowed. It was a bit gossipy but I didn't get bored reading it. Well done I say.

[Lily Mae]

Continue to write from your heart and it will continue to flow nicely.. Don't get to caught up in the idea of what others want it to be.. Critiques are a helpful tool and it's great to look back and change things up a bit if we choose. But if you like it..and it looks like allot of others do too...your on your path.. :) xx

[FamaSemperVivat]

This is a very good start for one so young, EmoUnicornz is wrong, it's just not in her genre, considering the fact that she likes emo as her name implies, she's not willing to expand her horizons. You've got a good read going, and there's nothing wrong with classical style writing. Keep penning!

[Blue Moon Ice Cream]

This might have some elements of a classic teenage story, but I've actually really enjoyed it. Your narrator has a great voice, and I thought everything flowed very smoothly, with information being presented to the reader at logical times. I didn't ever feel like I was being overloaded with useless facts about the characters, which is an easy habit to fall into when you feel like you've created a great person and want the reader to know all the details. I think your characters are wonderful, very believable with human flaws, and Spade's feelings of being left out are something I can definitely relate to. One thing, though...the beginning was decent, but didn't lead me to believe that the story was going to engage me. As I kept reading, I realized that the opening was misleading. I know it's hard sometimes to come up with a good 'hook' at the beginning, but give it some thought. Again, nice work. :)

[Tsubasa-chan]

cool ^^

[Short.Nerd]

I'm agreeing with EmoUnicornz in a way. The idea is original but there's something about it that just seems so classic. When you put the Tee Hee's in there it could of distracted me from the writing.