Honors

Honoring

Preparations for Erik’s memorial service were underway.  My parents and sister flew in late that night, so Micah, Natasha, and I headed back up to Fairbanks to pick them up.  They were surprised we were there to pick them up, but Micah or I would be able to sleep in our house.  We all stayed at a hotel, so we could come home the next day.  I stayed up talking with my parents and sister for two hours before finally feeling like I could sleep.  I went over to the room with Micah and Natasha to find them both crashed out in one of the beds.

Micah and I also had to go to the funeral home the next day to make arrangements for Erik’s urn and burial.  We made the choice to have Erik’s body cremated since we had donated some of his organs, and the thought of burying Erik in Alaska did not settle with either of us.  We did not want to leave him in Alaska if we ever ended up moving away.  Erik would remain in the urn until a better location for his burial could be decided on.  Micah picked out a nice urn and was informed that the burial expenses was paid by an anonymous donor.

After stopping at the grocery store, where I picked up Erik’s birthday cake I had ordered, we headed back to Anderson.  Micah’s two brothers, Matt and Tim, and their families were already at Albert and Barbara’s house.  His other brother, Randy, would be flying in the next day and Albert and Micah would go pick him up along with Erik’s ashes.  In the meantime, meals were being brought over by several people in the community and we found places for everyone to sleep.  We even turned some of the classrooms at the church into sleeping quarters for a few family members. 

Sunday, April 13th, 2003 we awoke to a sunny morning.  Getting ready for church that morning was pretty interesting with all the extra bodies that needed showers.  I never will forget how full the church was.  Every seat was taken with the addition of our visiting families.  We planned to have a worship service before heading over to the school for the memorial service for Erik.  In addition to our regular patrons and family, Colonel Lawless, Captain Thornton, Sgt. Valdez, and a few other air forces personal were attending.

In the mist of all our sorrow, I could feel God’s presence in the building as we sang worship songs.  To this day the song, It Is Well with My Soul, will have an even deeper meaning to me.  The room was filled with peace as we all joined in together to praise God.  It was the only time I had ever felt God so strong in a church service.  It was nice to have Him present on a day like today.  Most of that day was a haze, but this I will never forget.

After our worship service we all headed to the school.  Cars were already filling up the parking lot.  As we walked in I barely noticed anyone.  We walked to the multi purpose room, where I put Erik’s birthday cake along with all the other food.  It should be enjoyed, if by everyone else but us. I looked at the table where pictures and scrapbooks of Erik were set out for people to look through.  Everything was laid out nicely for us.  It felt a little weird to not be setting any of it up.

We walked back to the gym, where the memorial service was to be held.  As we walked in to sit down with our families a hush seemed to fall over the room.  It would be a few moments before everyone was seated and waiting.  In the front was set up a platform for Captain Thornton to give the sermon, along with anyone else to say something about Erik.  Off to the left were Erik’s urn, picture, and the flag Colonel Lawless flew over the air force station the day we visited.  He had planned for it to be used as Erik’s burial flag.  

I remember very little of the service or the people in attendance.  My dad sat next to Micah and me on the other side.  At one point I remember laying my head on my dad’s shoulder.  The air force honor guard posted the flags.  Captain Thornton gave his sermon. Then a young Marine Corp sergeant in his dress blues walked up and took Erik’s flag and walked over to me to present it.  I knew this would happen and wanted to be able to not cry during this.

“On behalf of the President of the United States, the Commandant of the Marine Corps, and a grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one’s service to Country and Corps.”

I took the flag and quietly said, “Thank-you.” Pushing back my tears.

After it was all said and done we visited with a few people who wanted to give their condolences and then headed to the multi-purpose room for a potluck and slide show in Erik’s honor.  I wasn’t in the mood to eat and found a place to sit while children played and everyone ate and visited.  Micah visited with people the whole time.  It was the difference our how the two of us dealt with things that day.  I withdrew and he kept up a front.  

At one point, Erik’s teacher came and sat down next to me.  He didn’t say much as we sat there.  I did eventually think to introduce him to Micah’s niece and her husband along with our two nephews.  Other than that we didn’t talk much.  I don’t know how long we sat there, but I do remember him finally getting up to leave to head home.  Of all the things someone could have done for me that day, this was it.  No words, or very few, and just sit there so I at least knew you were there for me.  That day, Erik’s teacher did just what I needed.

As we got ready to leave I walked over to look at the table set up with Erik’s things on it.  I noticed there were Marine Corp badges and pins set next to his urn.  I asked Micah if he knew who laid them there, but even Micah didn’t know.  Our best guess was that one of the gentlemen from the Marine Corp League had set them down.  There were so many people there who I didn’t even get to see or visit with.  Later we would be told that there were at least 600 people in attendance at our son’s memorial service.  

Life slowly went back to semi-normal.  At one point during that summer, a retired Marine came over to visit with Micah.  This marine had given Erik his Marine Corp Bear before Erik died and stopped in to see Erik a couple of times.  

During his visit with Micah he wanted to ask a favor.   He asked Micah if he could have Erik’s burial flag for a little while.  At first Micah laughed and said no.  Then this Marine explained about a couple of favors he called in to arrange for Erik’s flag to be flown over the Marine Corp Memorial at Arlington Cemetery.  Micah was in shock.  This was more than we could have ever expected.  This Marine wanted to make sure Erik was remembered.  He had also arranged for Erik to be listed in the Memorial section of the Marine Corp magazine.  This all took Micah back, and he handed over Erik’s burial flag to be sent off to Arlington.  

When we received the flag back it was accompanied with a letter stating that the flag flew on September 30th, 2003 over the Marine Corp Memorial.  We also received copies of the Marine Corp Magazine where Erik had been listed among other Marines who had died.  Then, as if that wasn’t enough, we received two copies of a book written about Marine quotes, where Erik’s quote about wanting to be a Marine was listed.

All of this was done in honoring our little boy’s life and desire.  We have been accepted into the Marine Corp family and will always hold a place in our hearts for that family.

In the fall, Natasha and I returned to the school.  Micah and I were invited to the Marine Corp Ball in Anchorage that November, so we made a weekend trip and stayed with Micah’s brother, Tim.  For Christmas, we made a trip to Idaho to see my family.  None of us wanted to be in Anderson for that first Christmas without Erik.  Then, in the spring, Albert and Barbara made plans to move.  They left at the end of that summer.  Everything was changing in our lives.  Our world felt like it was crumbling all around us.  How we dealt with life at this point?  That’s for another story.

Every chance we got we shared Erik’s story… and will continue to do so.

Author's Note

There is more to this chapter, I just need to get it in the right order. I'm trying to make sure the major details are there. I do know there was more to Erik's story that we never found out until years later.