Given the Choice

The beginning is just; the beginning is right,

the constant wailing and constant fight.

To discuss the discourse of freedom’s first light

will take us forever into the damning night. 

Fidelity must be spoken to those

who need the warmth of truth’s thick clothes,

who feel the need for life’s great oath

and to be taken gravely as a matter as so.

 

Success is what must be measured at once,

weight and health is of sudden importance.

Rivalry instantly ignited through instance,

a battle of babes of great significance.

Throughout the primary walks of life,

when babe has now grown into child,

when child is absorbing the essential guide

there is nowhere for this child to hide. 

Blackened souls will seek to compete,

though we are all blackened souls underneath.

We all seek gratitude and plaudits from those with whom we speak.

Adolescence, I’m sure, will destroy the likes of me. 

Toiling away for the great machine.

Like cogs destined to be the engine,

toiling away for humanity.

Which cog is shinier than the crooked colleague? 

Retirement seems to be a venture from the fog,

where you’re made to live on scraps like dogs,

freeze at home and choke on smog.

a peek into our epilogue.

 

Let’s call upon our great creator

and ask ourselves, 'which one is greater?'

Space is supposedly a mask for our maker

but our lives are somehow difficult to savour. 

Forever we will wander,

what lies beyond the years of yonder?

Given the choice, would you be forever younger?

Given the choice, would you still have the hunger?

Reviews

[Captain]

Ah, I love the points you make with such a nice sound to the wording and vocab you choose. Another breath taking work of art. Probably one of my favorites so far. Well done, sir!
'Captain

[Priscilla Sayers]

A thought provoking poem. Still thinking:)

[Marie]

We have no choice, and his poem shows no hope or meaning.

[Pencrafter]

This is a great piece. It seems to speak of the universal questions of: What is the meaning of life, is there a Creator who cares, etc. The yearning is for a more peaceful, less poluted, non-stressful and happier existance. It's really good for all of us to consider such things, which is what your poem does.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A thought provoking piece, I choose youth!

[Chris]

Good thoughts, valid questions. Well reasoned. Not too hard to follow... the weakness was the fractured rhyme scheme. It got distracting to me... close rhymes just aren't and you changed the rhythm and scheme in mid flow.

[SuicidePact.]

wow this was really cool!

i like how you asked questions, always good in poetry..makes the reader think, even more than just mere statements.

[M.E.Lyle]

I like your rhyme scheme, and the message sent. Seems we all want acceptance in some form or other. Given the choice would I ever WANT to be younger. I would want to appear younger, have the strength, speed and agility of youth, but would I actually want to go through all the agony of getting to where I am today...NO. Being old is great. You don't have to worry about the latest fashions, or who said what about whom. You should try it sometime...getting old.

[Hayley]

Great use of a rhyme scheme; it flowed very well and they did not sound forced, they just added to the overall feel of the poem. I especially liked the olden feel to your verse. Very-well crafted in all aspects!
Oh, and one last thing, nice last two lines. They still seem to be ringing with me...

[Octob3r Star]

This really inspirational. Thank you for sharing.