Wingman

They say

The job of the wingman is to jump on the grenade

Is to take the hit for the player to play

To take the uggo away

So the hottie will stay

 

They say

The job of the wingman is to say

Whatever the girl wants to hear about the best mate

To lie all the way

So the girl will sit on his face

 

‘Cos I’m a wingman

And I’m here to help

I’m the Robin to your Batman

The fish to your Aquaman

I’m the Harry to your Ron

(Surely it should be Ron to Harry)

But think about it, Hermione goes with Ron

And Harry’s left with the ginger one!

 

You know I got your back

Even if I do have to do that

I’ll close my eyes to go for the kiss

But please call my mum if I don’t re-surface

Tell her I’ve loved her since I was born

And please, hide my porn

 

‘Cos I’m a wingman

And I’m here to help

I’m the Adam to your Eve

The Thelma to your Louise

The Ken to your Barbie

The Mary-Kate to your Ashley

(ooooh if it were them)

Then we would have no problem

 

 ‘Cos I’m a wingman

And I’m here to help

I’m the Dum to your Dee

The Ben to your Jerry

The Ball to your Bat

The cake to your fat

The George to your Bush

The thrust to your push

The Tele to your phone

The dog to your bone

The genie to your wish

The end to this list

‘Cos I’m a wingman

And I’m here to help

Reviews

[Mockingbird]

this is very amusing...sometimes being the wingman sucks...the way this poem goes it sounds like a song.

[paparapapa]

Haha. This one's really funny! "The cake to your fat" =)) Seriously? :)) This poem's just simply amazing! Loved it. Made me smile all the way through. You're a great writer. :) Thanks for submitting this to my contest.

-A License to Brag-

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Very "tongue in cheek" sense of humor...Made me smile! Nice write!

[Priscilla Sayers]

Fun read. Love the last stanza.

[Kim]

Loved the 5th stanza the best, This is amazing really enjoyed this.