Epitaph

Ahem... Cough, cough...

...Ladies and gentlemen...!

...Cough, cough...

Somewhere or other... I dunno, ...in La Mancha,

I ask - Am I more Don Quixote or more Sancho Panza?

For fools many there have been, and many more will follow behind,

but get a load of that... I'm the biggest one of all, for all time.

(the audience boos)

Thank you... Thank you...!

And now to end this retail masterpiece with your money well-spent,

to bring this magnum opus to a close like a true classy gent.,

to make your applause resound to the rafters,

for reviews to praise my talent beyond the hereafter,

I conceitedly proclaim for you all to abhor and adore:

Getting paid quick is worth cutting many corners for.

(more booing by audience)

As it is now clear that I am an utter idiot with less talent than gall,

the crummy play ends here, and without further ado, the moth-eaten curtain falls.

(relieved applause)