you dont know me

the feeling of hatred filled my eyes

how could they speak so many lies

they said that they cared and that they'd always be there

but the minute i need them they turn there backs

they make up storys but dont even know there facts

oh shes just stupid worthless and weak

that stupid girl cant even speak

she hides in the corner with nothing to say

and soon your memory of her will fade

heres what i have to say to you

ya i maybe feeling bule

but at least the words i speak are true

ya i may hide

and at times iv cryed

but at least i have a heart

and my soul isnt dark

oh she she cuts shes got a knife

so take the blade and end your life

ya blood may drizzle down my skin

but i aint hurting you how is it a sin

she keeps dirty secretes that nobody knows

just look at her it seems so gross

i keep to myself because of you

and the only thig gross are you words

your minds

and your personality to

so b***h please dont say you know me

you know nothing of who i am

Reviews

[David the writer]

Okay, this was alright. Biggest problem, grammical errors. "Iv" should be "I've". When you say "to" is should be "too". When you say "i" it should be "I". ya can be "ya" if you need it short but beware it comes off a little lazy, so "yeah" may serve you a bit more good. Btw even in poetry the begining of a sentance starts with a capital letter. Other than the grammical errors, nice job!

[Cheyenne Delay]

Thank you I know I can get really lazy on my work

[David the writer]

It's understandable. I used to be lazy with my work too. Mostly because I write really late at night, so I had just finished a piece and I didn't go back to fix tha grammer lol

[Cheyenne Delay]

Ha yeah I know how that its most of the time I notice it but I say to hell with it because I'm just to the point where I don't care

[David the writer]

Yeah, but you'd be suprised how much it adds to your image, and reputation which is supiringly important *it atleast suprises me* that kind of stuff is. Like, if there's grammer mistakes when you submit a poem to be published, to the publisher it looks sloppy and you look lazy, so if they do point it out, there's still that negative attatched to you. And there's other places too, like when you're spelling a homonym. That gets crazy

[Cheyenne Delay]

oh yeah its does

[David the writer]

BUT it's all okay as long as you learn from mistakes

[Cheyenne Delay]

yes indeed :)

[David the writer]

And if you do so, then you can end up like me, published :)

[Cheyenne Delay]

I'm glad you're published :D i like your writing

[David the writer]

Thanx! Ahaha, I'm glad I'm published too. Takes alot of hard work, so excuse me if I tend to have a bit of an ego over it. But thanks again, means alot to me :)

[Cheyenne Delay]

doesn't bother me I would to

[David the writer]

Yeah, I'm trying to be as humbe n level headed as I can be about it. BUT being published at age 13 doesn't happen to everyone

[Cheyenne Delay]

how old are you now

[David the writer]

13 :D

[Cheyenne Delay]

that's awesome haha you are officially smarter the a 16 year old

[David the writer]

Hahaha, I'm probably a bit smarter when it comes to the street, but school smarts are different.

[Cheyenne Delay]

street smarts?

[David the writer]

Yeah, being smart in social situations n that kinda stuff ^_^

[Cheyenne Delay]

Yeah I don't socialize much

[David the writer]

I don't either...I used to so I learned to. Now days I'm like an antisocial vampire

[Cheyenne Delay]

same

[David the writer]

ehahahaha, yeah it's beautiful being one though

[Cheyenne Delay]

haha people consider me a vampire cuz the way I am gives me the personality of one haha

[David the writer]

Haha, people don't considered me one. I pretty much live the life style though, so I proudly call myself a vampire. Others call me things like "antichrist" or "devil boy"

[Cheyenne Delay]

It's okay I'm apparently a Satan worshiper because i don't believe

[David the writer]

I know how that is. I never told my parents I don't beleive cause they would think I'm a satan worshipper.

[Cheyenne Delay]

my parents do

[David the writer]

What's worst is I'm in the south, so everyone thinks it too.

[Cheyenne Delay]

that's the same with were I'm at

[David the writer]

Ugh I hate the south! ESPECIALLY OK! It sux here

[Cheyenne Delay]

sorry

[David the writer]

It's okay cause I have only a few more years to go and I'll most likely be out of state, more like out of the south

[Cheyenne Delay]

oh okay

[Jon Roggie]

Nice start. Hang it out there for all the world to see.

[Cheyenne Delay]

thank you