Unspoken words

How do I avoid the constant voice in my head that taunts me? Every day I wake only to paint a smile on my face, then before I leave home I make silly remarks to make people believe that I'm happy. But what kills me are the words that come from friends and family, see they tell me they love me and want me here I just don't see how when all I find is disappointment and hate. When I lay down to sleep I force my self from the blades I've hidden I feel so worthless like I can't do things right, and by the end of the day feel gross. I burry my face deep into the pillow so no one has to hear me cry. i feel so empty and and even though I have friends and family, I find myself alone. My heart has taken to much and my knees have weakened causing me to collapse to the ground. Feeling tears fall from my pale white cheeks I clench to a heart that's lost it's beat. There's just something in side that I have to hide I don't want people to see the real me. Sheets are stained with tears, and note books are filled with the story I've yet to tell. It makes me wonder if anyone will find a way to break the wall and see the truth. Will they accept me for the monster I've become, or will I forever hide in darkness of their shadows? My screams for help have silenced sense reality struck who wants to save the freak? No one. For every time I look in the mirror I make myself sick. Why couldn't I have bee the one to die? You think your judgement affects me how could I be hurt when I feel the same I'm nothing and soon the wind will blow my ashes away.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful and strong thoughts in the story. We are hardest on ourselves. Sometime we must toss the old things away and find a better place to be. The story was direct and honest. Thank you for sharing the story. It was direct and to the point.
Coyote

[Nightingale Silva]

Wow...
This leaves me speechless. I myself have had feelings similar to these, so it hits close to home. I know the feeling of having those around me, and not physically being alone, but mentally and emotionally, you have no one but yourself. Though this is a heart-wrenching pain for anyone to feel, you've conveyed it well through written word, and kept all emotions attached. Beautifully done, dear~